The little rockstar

2012-02-25T20:36:00.002+08:00

Therapy

So I'm thinking of finally starting my Youtube Channel :) I guess I'm using my Dad's phone. So then this is just the next cover I might do? It's a lazy cover, I havent practised much and havent really touched up on it so yeah this is just like the gist of it? This song's called Therapy by All Time Low, it's a leak for you guys. I'll redo it really well and put it on Youtube and on Tumblr too and have a Tumblr version for it as well. SO ENJOI! :D

2012-02-24T02:36:00.001+08:00

Guy Best Friend

Austin, can you be my new best friend? :') You're the sweetest guy ever! I wish i had a guy best friend :( I mean I have like a number of brothers from school but I never really considered them best friends, more like brothers. Sigh... Austin, can I marry you? :)

2012-02-23T00:10:00.003+08:00

It's Me, It's You

OKAY SO 3RD MARCH IS THE OFFICIAL DATE WHERE DISNEY FINALLY SHOWS AUSTIN AND ALLY <3 <3 <3 OMG I CAN'T WAIT! You have no idea how long I've been waiting for this! I mean I wouldn't even know about this show if it wasn't for my trip to America! Cuz some days I chill at home and watch Disney like the whole day or just watching some Teen Mom episode and yeah. Okay anyway, check this.

Okay so I'm really sad cuz Jared went to Sunset Boulevard like just?!?! :( I THINK I REALLY WENT TO L.A AT THE WRONG TIME :( I mean Allstar Weekend and Before You Exit went to HOB Sunset Blvd for a show for the All The Way Tour and BYE just started having private concert bookings and private bus parties! So not fair! And then Big Time Rush and Sammie Jay performed at the Gibson Amphitheatre like just recently. And now Jared walking down Sunset Boulevard. I MEAN COME ON SERIOUSLY?!?!?! :(((( I wish I lived in L.A! I'll be such a happy kid and I don't care about what they say about High School damn it. I just wanna live in L.A! Sunny L.A OMG but I'll hate winters though. And when you have menstrual cramps in the winter all you wanna do is kill yourself. Like it's having fever and pain and nothing else can save you except pain killers. Hahahaha okay.

Here's a little inspiration for you guys :) Remember to chase your dreams! Make them dreams come true :) Go for it, all the way :)

And here's a picture I took in the Hollywood Museum. If you guys watched Hannah Montana The Movie, you'd recognize this dress that Miley Cyrus wore during the part where she goes for this fancy lobster lunch with the Mayer and his wife. Man I kinds regretted not stealing this dress when that lady with the Michael Jackson nose was gone. Hahahaha I'm just kidding. But damn! I love dresses like that! Like it's tight at you boobs and stomach and then it's flare from your waist onwards. Oh.

Hollywood.

2012-02-20T01:06:00.001+08:00

Well This Is Weird

Hey so I'm back again. I forgot to tell you guys! last night I had this insanee dream! I went to a high school in America! and like it was the end of a semester or something and our teacher and this class we were suppose to go on this trip to another country and OMG I didnt book my flight and the teacher was all like; "Oh well then you can't go. You just have to go for college and I'm like wtf? You can't leave me behind! And all my friends and classmates were Americans even the teacher. WHAT IN THE WORLD! So then I had to quickly book my flight but to no avail and then I woke up.

2012-02-20T00:37:00.000+08:00

You've Got Me Obsessed

Random thing, an anon on Tumblr sent me a Valentine's Day e-card and I can't find the website to it! :O It says 'not found'. I am sooo devastated :( I'm so sorry anon.

Anyway, WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE IN MEXICO? Like what the hell! Why can't you be here? I wish we had more time to hang and stuff. The way you say 'funny' with your accent, the way you smile at me everytime you make your rounds. It's like you're doing it on purpose? The way you made me want to see you and just sit at the same table with you alone. The way you're not afraid of putting your arms around me and making me blush so hard that all the other people just stared at us. The way you're not afraid to kiss me and take pictures with me right in front of your family. The way your little sister and little brother are so sweet and friendly and nice. The way you pulled me back to kiss me goodbye as I was about to leave. The way you just make me think of you now, halfway across the world away from you. The way you make me want to marry you.

Boy, did you make me blush so shyly at every little thought about you.

2012-02-18T01:14:00.003+08:00

So Random!

This isn't an actual post, it's a picture post! Enjoy!

Just some inspiration for you guys to last the whole weekend. So have an awesome weekend! xoxo

2012-02-16T19:50:00.001+08:00

Alex Gaskarth

I would write a whole chunk about this amazing guy from All Time Low. But you guys should check him out on your own.

This is the link to his Tumblr (blog). SO CLICK HERE AND FOLLOW HIM IF YOU MUST OR IF YOU'RE BROKE OR JADED!

Anyway, I'm really bored and school hasn't started yet. I don't have job but I want money. Jessie J's coming! On the 20th March she'll be performing. Hey that rhymes! So any of you guys are out there, please leave a comment at the autograph section. Thank you and goodbye all you people so pleasant xoxo

2012-02-15T23:56:00.001+08:00

Half Of My Heart

"What do you want to be when you grow up?"
"Legendary. Legendary means doing things people think that are impossible to do. Legendary means following your heart, chasing your dreams and being fearless. And being legendary means changing the world.

2012-02-15T23:25:00.000+08:00

Oh

I wonder what would happened right now when that window worked and wasn't spoilt or locked. I'd probably be in heaven right now without even trying. I really wished that window worked.

2012-02-14T20:32:00.002+08:00

Future

I'm still as afraid as before, that the kids who get into the course would not be me. I really want that course. That day I find out if I get into the course will be the day I die, or the day I cry with joy.

Btw, I wish there was a Macy's here in Singapore. It's like heaven in there. The clothes and the perfume. I mean, Wonderstruck is like the only perfume in the store and in another store. Damn it. I wish I lived in l.A.! But I'll probably live in Texas or Tenennse in the future :)

2012-02-11T20:42:00.002+08:00

My Obsessions

I LOVE TAYLOR SO MUCH. I CAN'T WAIT FOR HER NEXT ALBUM AND NEXT TOUR. Btw, I have a huge obsession with ALL HER DRESSES XD

2012-02-11T01:01:00.005+08:00

I'm Not Okay

It's a 50/50 chance that I'll get in. I guess only my voice could save me. I mean THEY GAVE ME NOTES TO PLAY ON THE SPOT. I didnt even see it coming. They told me to play beats that was okay. But notes. I could read them, but I suck in reading them fast. I dont know notes on the guitar because I'm always using tabs. The singing the notes part with the piano was okay except the part where I have to sing an octave higher for 1 note. The first time I screwed but the other 2 was perfect. They told me to play one of my original songs. I did. I dont know what to do. I'm scared, I mean WHAT IF I DONT GET IN?!?!?! I could just jump and kill myself. SUCKS BEING IN SINGAPORE WHERE EVERYTHING IS JUST EFFED UP.

2012-02-08T19:15:00.001+08:00

Inspiration

THESE BOYS <3

2012-02-08T00:09:00.000+08:00

Juan

If you see this boy, can you tell him where I am?

2012-02-07T16:50:00.001+08:00

Who Says Music Wouldn't Give You A Future

So you guys, this here is a photo of Vinny Vegas. He's the merch guy for All Time Low. I swear I'm so crazy about ATL these days it's really unhealthy. But anyway, this kid's really smart. He said: ‘I know Alex Gaskarth personally… so you should give me money’.

And everyone is just like oh you know music isn't gonna get you far in life, music isn't gonna get you a good job and a good pay. BITCH. Yall say all these because yall ain't smart enough to think the right way to get money through music. And all you bitches ever do is just listen to people and you never THINK. I mean well there's so many ways to music and getting a good job to it. Unlike you guys, Vinny THINKS. And that's just how he survives and still has a great time. Professors in music have amazing pay as well.

SO WHAT ELSE DO YOU BITCHES HAVE TO SAY HUH???

Just cuz it's rare doesn't mean it's impossible.

#I'mnotjustsaying #Ifrickingmeantit

Btw, I really love Vinny Vegas hahahaha x

2012-02-07T15:10:00.000+08:00

Life's The Climb, But The View's Great

So, many things have been going on in my life these few days. Mostly downs, being afraid, being strong with the ones you love, sticking up for each other, holding to what's left. My Grandad passed on a few days back, today is the last day of the funeral and it was a hard day today. Seeing the sides of people you've never thought you'll see. And having to comfort each other telling everyone that All Is Well. Giving encouragement to one another that my Grandad's gonna be in a better place. Yes, All Time Low's right. Cancer IS a dick. It always has and always will be. Rest In Peace Grandad. We'll all miss you.

On the bright side, my portfolio was a success! And the school's calling me back for an audition and an interview. So I have decided to do this song. I thought it'd be a perfect song for now.

To everyone out there who's struggling with their problems or just having a hard time figuring and working things out, remember to hold on and keep moving forward. Because life's the climb, but the views great :)

xoxo

2012-02-05T00:55:00.001+08:00

Wrecked

I've been so tired of thinking and making everything so perfect for my appeal to the Music And Audio Technology course in Singapore Poly. Because I'm stupid and at first I thought that my cut-off point made it to the course. But it didn't obviously. Cuz of my science. Like I said, I was stupid. So then I decided to appeal of course. Since music is what I want to do for the rest of my life and I don't wanna ever give it up. But apparently, they didnt allow people to appeal online for that. So I had to gather up my stuff and went down to the school to pass them my stuff and did a walk-in appeal. But I didn't feel safe about it so when I got home, I started emailing the Music And Audio Tech department and the school and anyone who could help get me in about my appeal. Then I got happy that one of the lecturers of the course emailed me back to email her my original songs my covers and like everything else important. I did, even my appeal letter. I was happy of course but I couldnt be too happy cuz I didnt wanna get my hopes too high. Or I'll feel like a failure and a effed up person if I didnt get in at the end. So then I rushed my documents and recording my original songs and sent it to the lecturer. I rushed cuz I needed to attend the wake of my Grandad. AND THEN JUST TODAY I REALIZED I FORGOT TO TELL THE LECTURER THAT I WENT TO VIETNAM TO DO A SHOW IN A HIGH SCHOOL, ASIAN HIGH SCHOOL. AND I DIDNT TELL HER ABOUT ME PERFORMING AT HOLLYWOOD BOULEVARD ON CHRISTMAS EVE. THAT COULD SO FRICKING EARN ME POINTS TO GET IN THE COURSE. LIKE HIGHER CHANCES? I'm not boasting here, I'm just saying that you know out of all the students, who would go to Hollywood at L.A, California and perform on the streets, on the walk of fame????? WHO FUCKING WOULD?!?! I WISH I HADNT RUSH I WISH I DIDNT GO FOR THE WAKE. I MEAN SOME OF MY COUSINS DIDNT SO I COULD HAVE SKIPPED AS WELL. I MEAN I HAVE A PERFECTLY FINE EXCUSE FOR NOT ATTENDING. I would say shit, but no, for respect. I COULD TAKE MY TIME TO RECORD MY SONGS AND ACTUALLY REMEMBER TO ADD IN MY PERFORMANCES IN VIETNAM AND IN AMERICA. I COULD SO HAVE.

Now my issues are if I sent another email, the lecturer would probably hate me and get so annoyed with me and feel that I'm so unprofessional in submitting my portfolio. I would add in it's not my fault cuz first my mom got discharged from the hospital and it took my time again. And now the funeral took my time as well so I had to rush. But you know how it is with lecturers, excuses are just shit to them. And if I send the email in, THE VIDEO IS SO SHAKY. EVEN THE BEST ONE I COULD FIND. LIKE WHAT THE HELL. There's another good one but in the video some guy just randomly came to sit beside me and started drinking his beer. WHAT WOULD THE LECTURER SAY AND THINK IF SHE SAW THAT RANDOM WEIRD DRUNK GUY? If I dont send in my video, then isn't it a lost for me? I might have lesser chances cuz of my exposure to this whole music experiences. But thing is I do have experiences, just that STUPID ME FORGOT TO TELL HER.

My solutions? It's either I still send in the email to the lecturer without the video and just tell her. For the Vietnam one I have pictures but no videos. OH maybe I could just give in pictures of the Hollywood one to her and frick the video. YEAH MAYBE THAT'S WHAT I'LL DO. After all pictures are prove. And she doesnt needa see that shitty video I've got, or can I say my Aunt got.

Yeah that's what I'll do pictures for both Vietnam and America. Okay I'll solve this. You guys have no idea how much effort I'm putting in for this. I never worked so hard for something I yearn so much before in my entire life. It's crazy. I've been worrying and praying so hard that I'll get this course. Like I said and promised before, I'm not going down without a fight because music is ALWAYS worth fighting for.

Sorry for my rant, I'm a fricking wreck. I really don't deserve to live sometimes. Everyone's just wanting to study more and study hard to get to a University and become successful lawyers and doctors and surgeons. But I'm over here wanting to be a musician. Adults will think I'm a total wreck and a waste of time. Even some teens think that too. Thy all got brain-washed by the adults. Poor kids, what have this world become.

Again, sorry for my rant.

2012-01-30T14:09:00.003+08:00

What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stronger

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger

Stand a little taller

Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone

What doesn't kill you makes you a fighter

Footsteps even lighter

Doesn't mean I'm over cuz you're gone

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, stronger

Just me myself and I

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger

Stand a little taller

Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone

For me, it's a funny thing. When I'm upset and sad, I get out my guitar and start playing and singing songs. And when a line of a song hits me, my voice starts shaking and tear up and I stop playing. Then I go on Youtube. And start playing songs. I ALWAYS feel better after listening to music and watching music videos. In this case, I found this song. I felt so much better.

For me, it's a funny thing. When it comes to music, I NEVER want to give up. And I NEVER will give up. But in studies, like in Math or Science, I fail and get so fucked up and pissed off I wouldn't give a shit about it anymore. But now, in this case, you're not giving me something I want and that thing I want is related to music. I'm telling you, I'm not going down without a fight. I'd do whatever you all want me to just to get that thing I want to do. I don't dream for nothing. I'd do any tests, any audition, any show, any exam, any hell you want me to, just to get that music thing I want. When it comes to Music, I'M NOT GIVING UP, I'M NOT GIVING IN. EVEN IF IT KILLS ME. I'M GONNA GET IT. WHETHER THE WORLD'S HAPPY OR NOT. WHETHER I'M HAPPY OR NOT.

It's Music, I'm fighting for. I'm not going down without a fight.

2012-01-30T00:22:00.001+08:00

High School Never Ends

Everyone's like oh when am I gonna see you and stuff what school are you gonna go to and shit. Take a look at this video.

Hey everyone, I hate to break it to you. But just as your innocent minds start to think that high school is finally over and all that shit you've been through is over. It isn't over yet. It's just the beginning. So good luck with that! And just as you think you wanna stop all your gossips and rumours and being bitchy and stop being with boys and having your heartbroken, think again. Like I said, IT'S JUST THE BEGINNING. It's gonna be a HELL of a ride :)

2012-01-29T03:20:00.001+08:00

These Images That Fill My Head

These days, I keep itching to write things. Wanting to write songs, rhyming things and words in my head. Keeping my thoughts together. I just need to write stuff down. I wanna write songs but I'm never good in them. They're just so... simple. And there's just a whole chunk of notes and beats missing. Hahaha and I don't know how to confirm on a melody I want. I'm so indecisive. But yeah, I really needa start getting a job, before life starts getting out of control. Oh and I need new vocabulary as well. Hahahahahahaha

xoxo

2012-01-29T03:04:00.003+08:00

Shake That Money On A Dime

I can't sleep and I really miss California. I just wanna go back there right now. And head to Venice Beach and Santa Monica Beach. I REALLY don't wanna wait for another year to get back or 3 years. I just wanna live there. I want to get to a store and random people just greet ya. I wanna get to places and concerts and meet new people. I wanna be in Hollywood every single day even if it means stress and pressure and competition. I wanna get back to Universal Citywalk and get Sammie Jay's album and get her to sign it. Oh btw I'm talking to Sammie right now! It sucks, this time difference :( And she's doing a show in Santa Monica tonight! And it sucks, cuz I cant be there. I wonder how Edward is. He earned like 140 bucks in Hollywood that day. Yeah, he's back from Seattle. See it sucks doesn't it, having to be halfway across the world from people you just met but didnt have ample time to hang out and to get to know them better. I left L.A without jamming with Edward like we planned to. Cuz he jams in Venice Beach and I couldnt go there alone. I wonder where and how Juan is. I actually really miss him. If I had enough time to hang out with him, I help him with his English and he could teach me Spanish. We could go to places together and hang out and be friends, because my Aunt trusts him so much. And did I mention Juan's really nice and cute? I wish I didn't leave so soon, I wish I didnt leave L.A so soon.

When my Aunt came back to Singapore with me, I still felt cool like everything was fine, as if a part of me is still in America. But when she left, it's like I lost total contact with everything that's been happening in December. I was just lost in reality. When I'm talking to Sammie I feel happy again like I'm back in L.A and my dream it's still there. I don't wanna be here.

What am I gonna do? How am I gonna get out of here to chase and live my dream?

Can I just please, please let me dream of California every night. That's all I want for now.

2012-01-27T01:49:00.003+08:00

Help

You guys. I love you all. And I know that nobody goes to my blog anymore. But whoever you are. wherever you are, please if you pass by this blog, you needa check out my covers! Just take a while to listen to it. If you've got Tumblr, please reblog it, like it, share it to the world! It would mean so much! Here are the links.

Who Says by Selena Gomez: http://livingtherockstardream.tumblr.com/post/6030024872/my-cover-of-who-says-by-selena-gomez

Forever And Always by Taylor Swift: http://livingtherockstardream.tumblr.com/post/6821316242/my-cover-of-forever-and-always-by-taylor-swift

He Wasn't by Avril Lavigne: http://livingtherockstardream.tumblr.com/post/6316867860/my-cover-of-he-wasnt-by-avril-lavigne-i-feel

Someone Like You by The Summer Set: http://livingtherockstardream.tumblr.com/post/10981511904/you-got-a-price-tag-hanging-on-the-back-of-your

What Does It Take by Dave Days: http://livingtherockstardream.tumblr.com/post/12926909056/my-cover-of-what-does-it-take-by-dave-days

So yupp! Hope to get the support from you guys! And more updates for the month of February before school starts. I'm trynna get a job at a stable in the park close to my house. It's pretty cool, a job that isn't something to do with dealing with stupid shitty people. I like that. And I love horses so that's kinda worth a shot. Tbh, I really need money for my next trip to America.

It's February and I'm spending that month making my very own DVD!!! I'm super stoked! And I'll be learning loads of guitar solos. Writing songs and throwing them away. Doing more covers as well! Be excited and be ready! I might start my own Youtube channel too!

And you know how I'm always hating on Singapore Idol? I decided that I might give it a shot, because it's gonna give me the experience I need. And I bet it's gonna help a lot on my Rockstar career in future! I mean after all, it's better to be a somebody than a nobody right? :)

Tomorrow I'm heading for SQ's birthday thing that Bella planned and in March, Jessie J's gonna do a show here! This is why I need money, I spend a lot, and I mean A LOT, on concerts and in concerts.

So you guys before I peace out, please check out my covers! Whoever you are and Wherever you are, it would mean so much to me! Love you guys! Keep rocking on!

xoxoxo

2012-01-18T13:23:00.029+08:00

This Band Saved My Life

On Sunday, 15 January 2012, I went to the airport to try my luck on getting and meeting Simple Plan. AND GUESS WHAT?!?!?! I DID!!!!! THIS IS THE FIRST TIME I WENT TO THE AIRPORT JUST TO GET A BAND! Cuz the other times Im always busy with school stuff. And it's awesome! Cuz as you all know, Simple Plan is my first ever favourite band XD Thank you God! My sister and I reached the airport and we were trynna figure out which terminal they'll be in. We took the train to the 2nd and I saw a group of teen girls, with' Get Your Heart On' at the back of their shirts. One of them had an 'SP' banner. YUPP SO WE'RE AT THE RIGHT PLACE. We waited for like 45 minutes and they finally came out. When they were getting their baggage and stuff so many SP fans ran to the glass to see them. WE WERE ALL FREAKING OUT! When the band finally came out, everyone started taking pictures and getting their stuff signed. I got pictures with Pierre, Chuck, Seb and Jeff. David wasnt there I dont know why. Pierre is sooooo hot. Chuck doesnt smile. Seb is freaking cute. Jeff is a cool kid. David wants a Singaporean girlfriend. But yupp when i first asked Pierre for a photo, I WAS SHAKING INSIDE. That when I asked him, my voice sounded like a chicken. Ohgod. Embarrassment.But he was really nice, they all were! My sister got a photo with Chuck, her favourite guy hahahahha. It was FUN! I had no idea it was so star strucking! And btw, it wasnt easy at all. I had to constantly wake up to check their twitter so I would know when to leave for the airport. Well it was all worth it!

In the evening, went to meet up with the guys. And guys I meant Glendon, Leon and Ashraf. So we got to Fort Canning. When we arrived, the line was so freaking long!!! And you could here the opening act doing the sound check. I was still kinda pissed that Brandon Lee was chosen and not me. I MEAN THEY COULD BE FAMOUS AND THEY COULD HANG WITH SIMPLE PLAN BACKSTAGE. I MEAN WHO DOESNT WANT THAT?!?!?! Oh well. And then the line started moving in. And I got 2 Simple Plan t-shirts, a fake backstage pass and a Simple Plan wrist-band. What can I say Im a huge fan! And then the show started! It was an awesome day. Compared to All time Low's. Cuz it was raining out and it was wet and hot and sticky and sweaty during ATL's. Ewww. But ATL made it awesome so it was all good. Bandom lee opened the concert. Honestly, they are GOOD. My favourite's gotta be Back Against the Wall. And I was truly happy for them. they are good and they deserved it and they're living their dream, that's all that matters! i'll live mine soon enough hahahaha.

Then Simple Plan hit the stage! THEY STARTED OFF WITH SHUT UP HOLY SHIT THAT'S LIKE MY FAVOURITE SONG! Actually, all their songs are my favourite hahahaha. And then they played Addicted to You, Welcome To My Life, Jump, Thank You, I'm Just A Kid, Your Love Is Just A Lie. New Songs like Summer Paradise, You Suck At Love, This Song Saved My Life, Jet Lag, Loser of the Year, Astronaut, Can't Keep My Hands Off You. They ended off with Perfect. I cried during Welcome To My Life, This Song Saved My Life and Perfect. Tbh, I had a horrible stupid primary school life. And I survived all thanks to Simple Plan. They were the first band i ever listened to. They're the reason why I'm still here. They're the reason why I want to be a rockstar, the reason why I am so in love with music, the reason why I believed in it so much and so strongly and the reason why I know it can save lives, because it saved mine. Simple Plan saved my life. And every song they ever written and ever sang, I can just relate to them all. "I see myself in every work you say". Thank you Simple Plan.

So to conclude, it was an awesome day! BEST CONCERT IN THE HISTORY OF CONCERTS! BESAT CONCERT IN MY 16 YEARS OF LIVING! YAYYYYY! IT'S LIKE A DREAM COME TRUE! Sunday, 15 January 2012, BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.

2012-01-10T19:55:00.003+08:00

Guess What Another Game Over

My life is a mess. It's like everything's working out for everyone, except me. Now what am I suppose to do. When everybody's lives are just wow I got this and I got that and everything in my life is perfect. When they won the competition and I found out they're actually really good. When people are going good schools and shit. When all these people are just winning it and making their way to the top. And Im here. Fuck talent, I wanna be fucking smart.

2011-12-15T14:37:00.001+08:00

Them Boys With Brown Hair

He's a bucket drummer, I cant wait to meet him again.

2011-12-02T00:05:00.003+08:00

Before You Exit

I'm leaving to the airport at 4am and my flight takes off at 6am to Tokyo. HELL YEAH! OUT OF THIS COUNTRY A BREAK AWAY FROM EVERYONE IN THIS RUT!

Photos will be in FB. Text me, but I wont reply, but I'll reply you through email or through FB. If you guys need anything, FB inbox me or FB chat with me, or just send me an email. Yupp!

'I never told a lie, and that makes me a liar' - Jasey Rae by All Time Low

xoxoxoxo

2011-11-25T23:08:00.001+08:00

Money

If people weren't so shitty and messed up with their stupid comments, I wouldnt waste my goddamn money in going to concerts for therapy.

2011-11-24T17:31:00.002+08:00

Days Are Yellow And Nights Are Black

2011-11-24T17:07:00.002+08:00

Sugar, We're Going Down

I'm so sad. But this made me better. Well, honestly, the only thing that makes me happy is music. Cuz I hate people and they can't make me happy. I wish I had a gun.

2011-11-20T18:17:00.002+08:00

Taylor Swift

Hi, I'm Taylor. I've been alive for 21 years now, and I finally have my own kitchen. I'm very excited about this, and generally excited by anything else that falls into the "cute" or "cozy" categories. I learned to play guitar when I was twelve fro m this guy named Ronnie who came over to fix my parents' computer. I like quilts. But that's probably because I'm always freezing cold. I LOVE Nashville. That's where I live, when I'm lucky enough to be there. I love the town so much, I sometimes feel like I should just roll the windows down in my car (nicknamed the Toyoat. Because it's a Toyota) and scream "I LOVE THIS TOWN" loudly out the windows. That wouldn't be weird, right? Every time I try and wink at someone, I mess it up and end up scaring people. My lucky number always has been and always will be 13. It pops up in front of me in the most obvious and undeniable ways, but only when something good is about to happen. I'm a Sagittarius. I think that means I'm always looking for something new. It also means I have a Christmas-themed birthday party every year. I love bright colors and things that make reality seem more whimsical than it is. I have a collection of ribbons and headbands, and I love them all the same. I over-think and over-plan and over-organize. I've been like this since I was a baby, before I was gigantically tall and over-talkative.

These days, I've been trying to classify my thoughts into two categories: "Things I can change," and "Things I can't." It seems to help me sort through what to really stress about. But there I go again, over-planning and over-organizing my over-thinking! I write songs about my adventures and misadventures, most of which concern love. Love is a tricky business. But if it wasn't, I wouldn't be so enthralled with it. Lately I've come to a wonderful realization that makes me even more fascinated by it: I have no idea what I'm doing when it comes to love. No one does! There's no pattern to it, except that it happens to all of us, of course. I can't plan for it. I can't predict how it'll end up. Because love is unpredictable and it's frustrating and it's tragic and it's beautiful. And even though there's no way to feel like I'm an expert at it, it's worth writing songs about -- more than anything else I've ever experienced in my life.

I've apparently been the victim of growing up, which apparently happens to all of us at one point or another. It's been going on for quite some time now, without me knowing it. I've found that growing up can mean a lot of things. For me, it doesn't mean I should become somebody completely new and stop loving the things I used to love. It means I've just added more things to my list. Like for example, I'm still beyond obsessed with the winter season and I still start putting up strings of lights in September. I still love sparkles and grocery shopping and really old cats that are only nice to you half the time. I still love writing in my journal and wearing dresses all the time and staring at chandeliers. But some new things I've fallen in love with -- mismatched everything. Mismatched chairs, mismatched colors, mismatched personalities. I love spraying perfumes I used to wear when I was in high school. It brings me back to the days of trying to get a close parking spot at school, trying to get noticed by soccer players, and trying to figure out how to avoid doing or saying anything uncool, and wishing every minute of every day that one day maybe I'd get a chance to win a Grammy. Or something crazy and out of reach like that. ;) I love old buildings with the paint chipping off the walls and my dad's stories about college. I love the freedom of living alone, but I also love things that make me feel seven again. Back then naivety was the norm and skepticism was a foreign language, and I just think every once in a while you need fries and a chocolate milkshake and your mom. I love picking up a cookbook and closing my eyes and opening it to a random page, then attempting to make that recipe. I've loved my fans from the very first day, but they've said things and done things recently that make me feel like they're my friends -- more now than ever before. I'll never go a day without thinking about our memories together.

For the last two years, I've been writing and recording an album called Speak Now. I only have the option of writing about things that happen in my life, so thankfully a LOT has happened in my life in the last two years. I know I don't always say the right thing at the right time or speak up when I should, but I write it all down. I get my guitar and a pen and all of a sudden, I have a chance to say exactly what I meant to say in real life. Some of the things I wrote about are things everyone saw me go through. Some of the things I wrote about are things nobody ever knew about. I'm beyond excited for you to hear these stories and confessions.

I think it's important that you know that I will never change. But I'll never stay the same either. Must be a Sagittarius thing. I'm pretty stoked that you read this whole thing. I commend you for that. This was ridiculously long, and you probably have other stuff you could've done in the last four minutes. So to you, or anyone else who has spent four minutes on me in some way-- listening to just one song, or watching one of my videos….Thank you. I love you like I love sparkles and having the last word. And that's real love.

2011-11-20T17:57:00.003+08:00

Dream on Dreamer

I'M 16 NOWWW! AND STILL STUCK IN THIS FUCKING RUT.

Thanks Ashwin, Syabil and Leon for the One Direction song! What Makes You Beautiful! This is the first time someone actually sang me a song, cuz you know usually I'm the one doing it for people. OH! And that shiny star necklace! SO THANKS BROS! Best brothers ever! Thanks Jel, Amira and Leon for the birthday outing! The movie and Astons was awesome! Even though we couldnt catch Good Charlotte but it was an amazing day with you guys! Thanks Jel for baking me a birthday cake! FREAKING BEAUTIFUL! And thanks Mom and Dad for the ice cream cake I always wanted! Thanks everyone else for the birthday wishes! Through texts and calls and FB!

Since I'm done with Os, I'm just gonna update this thing a little more often. Starting with great news! I'm FINALLY LEAVING TO L.A. If you guys didnt know, Hollywood's there. I'm finally going to a place where my Rockstar dream can ACTUALLY come true! Awesome, I don't belong to a small-ass country like this. Nope, not for me.

So I'm just gonna peace out right now. I'll keep yall posted!

2011-11-11T18:18:00.002+08:00

I Found Out Finding Out Isn't The Worst Part

I found out that I'll never love a person as much as I love music I found out rockstars have so much fun especially on stage I wanna be pretty I wanna be beautiful I look so bad I think Im gonna die Im not even near pretty what the hell am I gonna do right now shit shit my stupid face shit my stupid look and stupid life oh and stupid face bye

2011-11-08T21:04:00.002+08:00

Bestfriend

We had a karaoke session yesterday. The first song I sang was Teardrops On My Guitar. And oh guess who came running back to my mind.

2011-10-18T23:21:00.003+08:00

I Wish You Were Here

So here's my plan. I'll get to L.A and find some time to go to Florida and I'll be at your show. Wherever you go, I'll be there. I'll find you. Before you become a huge superstar. That's what I'll do, no matter what. Connor, I'll find you, whatever it takes.

2011-10-14T21:43:00.001+08:00

OMG

I SWEAR I WISH I HAD AN AMAZING VOICE LIKE THOSE YOU SEE IN HOLLYWOOD. FREAKING TALENTED PEOPLE.

2011-09-30T23:43:00.002+08:00

Sparks Fly

I wish I hasn't ruined everything. If i could turn back time, I swear I wouldnt have gave way to my own feelings. I wouldnt still have you as my homey. And we would say and exchange knuckle punches and high fives. We be good friends. We'd smile. Everything in life would be perfect then. Sorry I'm so awkward with you right now. Sorry for just ruining everything, ruining our friendship. But hey good news right! I'm leaving this year and you're staying. You dont have to see me, i dont have to look at you. We'll be living our lives. While you go on with yours. You cute, little innocent boy, who's so good in sports, with that stage fright. And me, I'd go on chasing after my dream, and I'd be dying at every sport I take on but I'll be the one with the limelight on stage. And all there's left are memories. I wont forget you homey. That spontaneous smile. Never will and your hyper moments. Hyper moments never die. I had so much fun with you and your friends. Promise, I'll never forget.

Well then, goodbye. Great to have known you. One day, maybe we'll meet again.

P.S: I'd probably still think of you, at times.

2011-09-16T20:35:00.001+08:00

Holding On To Something

I'm so scared for tmrw. I'm always scared of things. I'm not brave.

2011-09-15T20:38:00.002+08:00

Opposites Distract

I got over you, biatch. AND IT FEELS GOOD.

HEY WORLD. Tmrw's the last paper and I screwed up today's paper. YESSS. Hallelujah. Praise the Lord. For good and bad shit. Yay.

I was feeling like shit today, but then again, with good and funny people. Things will get better. After Bio, walked to WS with Ryan and met Shawn, Anas, Jenice, ZH at Macs and they ate I chilled. And then went home with Jenice and Shawn and Ryan. AND SOME FUNNY SHIT HAPPENED. RYAN CRACKED US ALL UP. IT WAS INSANE. WE ALL COULDNT STOPPED LAUGHING. And that did it. That cheered me up for the rest of the day.

There. So when you're feeling pretty low and you feel lost with no where to go. Rmb, to stand get out and feel alive. Cuz you dont what will come your way and by the end of the day, you'll feel... GREAT.

PEACE.

2011-09-06T21:32:00.002+08:00

Nothing

It's sad how fat people think they're fat and how they really look down on themselves and how all the mean people would just go all out to bring them down. And then they cut themselves and think about suicide. And they feel alone, cuz sometimes they realized that no one's gonna be there for them. And what's done, cant be undone.

Sometimes you drown yourself in your own thoughts. So much grieve and you cant sleep, you cant eat. You cant stop thinking about things. They get wilder, like a dream. And suddenly it hits you, you feel lonely. And then you start breaking down and start crying and you cant stop.

Sometimes in life, everyone's just living their lives. They come and go, keeping a straight face. No smiles no crying, no nothing. But then again, you dont know what they're going through. You never know how sad they are. For example, someone they loved so much died, just only. And they're walking to the hospital. With panic with grieve but they dont show it and you walk past that stranger. Or someone just fell out of love. And the boy's just getting drunk at the bar. He's crying inside, but you dont see it either.

But someone who's happy. Like someone who finally fell in love. But you walk past them, with love notes in their hands.

And sometimes people believe too much in something and no matter what you do, it wont change their mindset and their way of thinking.

I think I'm ugly. My friends all think I'm beautiful and pretty. But no matter how many times they tell me that, both my bros and sis, I'll never believe it. I never will, no matter what. Cuz I believe I'm ugly. Very. I dont even know why they would call me beautiful. I always pictured myself walking on the street, but then I'll never be that girl which people would take a second look and would think secretly to themselves, I wish as pretty and beautiful as her. Never, i would never think that. Cuz I believe I'm ugly.

Sometimes, the world need to understand, but that's difficult.

2011-09-02T18:27:00.002+08:00

You Know

There are some days where I really feel like this could work. Like you and I are gonna finally get it right. Then there are days like today, when you make me wanna tear my fucking hair out.

Many things happened today. Ineed more time to take it all in. BUT THIS WEEK HAS BEEN GREAT AMAZING BRILLIANT AWESOME. GREAT SHOW YTD. THOUGH IT WAS DIFFERENT FROM ALL THE OTHERS THAT I EVER HAD. After the show ytd, Josh said to me: Rachel, you have a huge fanbase.

And THERE. IT WAS THE BEST THING EVER. MY HUGE FANBASE. THANKS TO EVERYONE WHO SANG ALONG WITH ME YESTERDAY. YOU GUYS WERE AMAZING AND FUNNY. NOT TO MENTION HORNY. IT WAS LIKE THE WHOLE SCHOOL SANG ALONG. YOU GUYS ARE THE BEST CROWD I'VE EVER HAD. AND I'LL NEVER FORGET <3 NEVER WILL. EVER. I LOVE YALL <3

I just wanna wake up everyday and be on stage.

2011-08-26T19:52:00.002+08:00

Night Of The Hunter

School's great. but it felt weird and really boring. Cuz of exams. there aint no fun and socializing. It sucks. I'm tired. So tired but I needa keep moving on. For All Time low.

2011-08-26T19:45:00.002+08:00

You're Making Me give Up On You

Guess I already did. Haven't seen you for so long. And now with the holidays and only two days of school next week, it's just worse.

Amirah: Is he going?

Me: Hmmm i dont know I'm scared he will.

Amirah: I think he's going eh!

Me thinking: Shit then it'll be so damn awkward! But oh well, it's my fault for liking him uh! But then again, it's his fault for being cute and nice.

But it's alright I'll get over you, like I promised to.

2011-08-23T16:33:00.002+08:00

I Can't Unforget You If I Tried To

Shit, I just finally realize what my problem is and I finally found out the meaning of that phrase. Happy go lucky. I'm a happy go lucky chick. We were just sitting at the table today during recess before geog. Just studying through the last few shit we needed to know. We, as in me, Anas, Krish, Ian, Ryan, Sam, Shawn, ZH. And Ian was sitting next to me. And well, I just randomly asked: Is it surprising that I'm in the first class? And Ian was just saying to me: You look like you don't study that kind. And I just said: Oh so, I'm the stupid kind? Ian: No doesnt study doesnt mean stupid! It's just the brain uh! Some people never study also stupid like... and he pointed to Krish. Though it was a joke. Ian: No, okayokay, you look like those happy happy never study kind. Me: Oh you mean like I just go with the flow? Ian: Yeah something like that. Me: Oh, you mean happy go lucky! Ian: Yeahyeah!

Hey everyone, I'm Rachel. I wanna be a famous in Rockstar to have my own band and get to Hollywood. I really am not study material. But I can do anything so long as I put in effort. But right now, something made go into a 'happy go lucky' mood. And everyday I wake up, I'll just tell myself, just go with the flow. Happy go lucky? It means to go with the flow. Once you see life moving on, you just gotta learn to move on yourself, get out there, go on with it, and just go with the flow.

2011-08-20T12:51:00.002+08:00

You've Got A Prob

I come here to talk about my shit. And to use vulgar. And it's awesome cuz no one comes here no more. No one blogs in blogger no more. And so here we go. You have a freaking prob. Your moods are just shit. You say we treat you differently. You're so damn sensitive. It's your mind that's playing games with you. You think about so much shit, it wouldn't be a surprise if you get into depression. We don't treat her better than you. You ostracize yourself from us and think about all that shit, when it's your prob. You treat your friends better than your good friends. You give that stupid attitude. We comfort you and were there for you. And you're rude as hell. It's disgusting. You rub it in people faces. You're disgusting. I wish I hadn't know you.

I wish I didn't grow up.

2011-08-20T12:40:00.002+08:00

Jump Then Fall

I like the way I can't keep my focus. I watch you talk, you didn't notice. I hear the words but all I can think is we should be together.

2011-08-13T00:29:00.002+08:00

In This Moment Now, Capture It, Remember It

So when I get on the computer, I get on Youtube and start watching videos. Or covers and more music videos. And I just keep watching them. I could spend hours doing that, just being in my little world of happiness and music.

Facebook is depressing so i'm just gonna stay away from there more often now. I mean people judge right? And there's such a thing called drama. And Tumblr's still amazing. I get caught up in it so much.

And I should go study now, so bye!

2011-08-07T20:54:00.002+08:00

Homecoming

School's been great. My phone's dead. And without it I'm lost. So lost. Mom gives me pills to keep me awake but when night comes I'm tired. So tired that I'm drunk. I'm always drunk though. Crazy always. Do you ever feel like someone's trynna replace you by being you? Or maybe just cuz that person's being what you used to be or what you are now. And you hate their guts and you kill them in your mind?

Btw, this week has been motivational and inspirational. I have amazing friends. I'm not even kidding. I'm loving my class more day by day. They're family. Sometimes being with the class just cheers me up and well makes me feel belong. And all the laughing talking encouraging jokes. It's awesome. it's my life.

Jie Shen: Tough times don't last.

Leon Chua: Rachel, be prepared for next few weeks of nagging from me and Ashwin.

Ashwin: Rachel, you better study this break.

Syabil: You love maths don't you? So it's the same for all the sciences. You do a paper for maths and you see the qns thinking it's easy and you can get the ans. So it's the same for sciences. You take the paper, refer and do the qns. All the same.

Mrs Shirley: Don't let fear enlace you.

Night school on Thursday was the best. Was the best of the best. I did work with Anas, Jen and Nicole. And sometimes we just chilled. I hate Chem. And Ashwin dropped by and people found two kittens. Jel ordered pizza. Jel, Huiyi, Eline, Wai kit, and I shared them. jo and Val had noodles. And Amira came back from DSA floorball from MJC. And she told stories bout it. More hanging out and stuff. Got a ride home with Korrine and Yina and well it was great. I never had so much fun for so long.

Tomorrow's Monday and school ends at 9. Tomorrow's the day where MTV finally shows MTV World Stage Live in Malaysia. AND 30 SECONDS TO MARS GONNA BE ON SHOW. THEY'RE THE MAIN ACT. HELLYEAH. Tomorrow's the day where I go to school without my phone :( 7 days til it comes back.

Peace out homedawgs.

2011-08-07T19:41:00.003+08:00

I Fell In Love With The Band Boy

And well now, it's really awkward for me. But he pretends that nothing had happened. And it hurts. To pretend.

2011-07-12T23:08:00.002+08:00

Heroes

She's feeling all unsure about her feelings. It's a come and go thing and she's struggling. He never texts her, not anymore. She used to feel like her world had dissolved then. And settle the fact that no, he doesnt like her. But she's all weird now, feeling like it's just oh-whatever. But what makes her feel shit now, is that she thinks about the good times of what it used to be. And believe that one day it's gonna come back good. But after that she sees that he's nothing but as popular kid, but he ain't infamous. And she gets her hopes down again. Thing is she was kinda popular too, for her music. But she thinks about how much of a loser she is. And how cool he is. And how pretty the other is. And where the hell did she stand? Does he think about her? Does he wants to hang out with her as much as she wants to hang out with him? Shekeeps wondering. Her friends know. Well, almost half of them. She wishes she could just forget about it. But she lives in a world of reality. People don't forget things. They just fade and becomes a blur, but people remember it, forever. She wants to leave this town. You might think she wants to be with him, but truth is, all she wants, is to be really good friends with him. Just him and her.

At the same time, her bestfriend tells her stories about her life and she could have gotten a full-mark test if she got her concept right. Well, now she knows.

2011-07-01T14:13:00.002+08:00

Weightless

I got distracted. So fucking distracted. So fucking distracted I cant distracted no more. So distracted by crushes. Crushes are useless shit. I mean you just waste your fucking time on someone you know you will never have. I got so distracted. From my studies. And studies distracted me from my fucking dream. From music. From becoming a Rockstar. I'm doing something I DONT EVEN WANNA FUCKING DO. STUDY. FALL IN LOVE. I DONT WANT THAT FUCKING SHIT. ALL I WANT IS TO BECOME A FUCKING ROCKSTAR GET TO FUCKING HOLLYWOOD GO ON FUCKING TOURS GO MAKE MUSIC DROWN MYSELF IN BEAUTIFUL FUCKING MUSIC. I WANT TO LIVE THE FUCKING DREAM BITCHES. I NEED TO GET OUT OF THIS FUCKING SHIT ROTTEN PATHETIC PLACE CALLED SINGAPORE. WHERE DREAMS DONT FUCKING COME TRUE FOR FUCKING ME. I NEED TO LEAVE AND NEVER COME BACK.

Im gonna just venture round and not stick to just one thing. I wanna do concerts travel round the world to do concerts meet people. Go crazy with people every night. get goosebumps, feel touched. FEEL ALIVE EVERY NIGHT WITH THE WORLD. To sing scream jump dance cry party with everyone. I want to dream big live the dream and dream big again. I want experiences. I dont wanna stay put at one thing at one place. I dont wanna see the same people everyday go through the same fucking shit everyday in this fucking rot. I want to meet bands and learn about their music where their inspirations come from. I want to talk to people know about their stories. ALL THEIR FUCKING STORIES. RELATE MYSELF TO THEM. AND WRITE SONGS. WRITE MORE SONGS AND SING THEM TO EVERYONE ELSE WHO FEELS THE FUCKING SAME.

I got distracted, in between of all the working hard shit getting in the a fucking good school after graduating, I forgot about what it's like to feel alive again. To want to live the dream so fucking badly. People around me brainwashed me to work hard so I could get to a good school get a good job. BUT FUCK THAT SHIT ONLY HAPPENS IN SINGAPORE MAN. And that's why I want to leave this shithole.

My plan is I'm leaving for L.A. Explore L.A. on my own. Even though there's this high chance I'll get raped kidnapped killed and shit. But Im gonna risk it. I wanna discover and learn about it. I'll find my way make new friends even if they look down on me cuz Im fucking Asian. But I'll keep smiling right. Yes and I'm gonna do covers performances and live my dream there. I'm gonna work it out. I'M NOT LETTING MY LIFE GO TO WASTE IN THIS SMALL PATHETIC SHITHOLE. I HATE IT HERE. I HATE HOW MY DREAMS WONT OBVIOUSLY COME TRUE HERE. PATHETIC. IM GONNA LEAVE. AND IM NEVER COMING BACK. FORGET ABOUT FALLING IN LOVE. FORGET ABOUT LISTENING TO WHAT PEOPLE TELL YOU TO DO. FORGET ABOUT SHIT AND SHIT AND SHIT. FORGET ABOUT LIMITATIONS. FORGET ABOUT OTHERS' EXPECTATIONS. FORGET IT AND LIVE IT OUR FUCKING WAY.

fuckyeah

2011-06-27T22:18:00.003+08:00

Life's A Story Of How You Write It

SCHOOL WAS HELLA AWESOME TODAY. YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH I MISS MY GUTTER SLUTS AND BUBBLE BUTTS <3 I met with the girls in the morning. Yeah the usual Rika Bella and Saf :D:D:D AND I HUGGED THEM ALL OMG BEST FEELING IN THE WORLD <3 So we talked and shit bout holidays and all. But obviously we're not done with it! THERE'S SO MUCH MORE. And we just walked to school. And Bella was just showing me stuff in her phone and Ms Tan was like: Rachel! ( Okay you have no idea how many times she calls my name every morning Cuz I'm just this frequent late comer. BUT DUDE IM NOT LATE. IM JUST ON TIME YOU KNOW. ) So yeah I pretended to put the phone away but I didnt and then Saf and Rika joined Bella and I again and well okay that part was shit after that. Then I started having butterflies in my stomach. So I felt kinda sick. I mean it's bad having those in the morning!

Got to parade square. AND DAMN IT FELT GOOD. FINALLY BACK TO SCHOOL. YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH I MISS SCHOOL. Yeah, Imma nerd :P And so went to sit beside Ashwin, which was weird. He usually sat in the front, I'd be at way back. But so yeah the first thing I said really loudly before sitting was: SHIT. And OMG I think people could hear. I was putting my stuff down when I kinda accidentally sprayed water onto this stack of magazines and kinda at Ash too. Hahahaha so sat down started talking to people and shit. And like Eline and Jel were near. OMG MORNING ASSEMBLY WAS HELLA FUN. Yeah those people just teased me and all. From my class, 4.5 and 4.6. It was insane. Okay, I wont elaborate cuz you know kinda private here.

So then went to Chinese with CHERYL :D:D:D MISS HER SO MUCH. And then yeah shit happened again. OMG IM SUCH A MUTHAFUGGA. I FUCK THINGS UP LIKE ALWAYS :( Whenever it's him. Okay so yeah went for Chinese. Which was fun, I mean good to have everyone back right! The school's atmosphere and we got on to oral. And I had to read first. But it wasnt that bad like I've got an 8/10. But well, my Chinese tuition teacher just doesnt think I could do well. Seriously? What's with them and their fucking high standards? And then Leon Lau Shawn and Zong Han gotta read too. Then Ms Chew Xin Yi told us more bout Oral on Thurs! I was having that same nervous feeling in my gut, similar to when Im about to go on stage. After that it was Maths.

The whole class had this moment of well, what do you call it? Great bonding-farewell kinda thing? Mdm Yue told us to wish all our friends all the best. You know it's like this class, 3.7 and now 4.4 It's been a year and a half with them. And we all have been studying together and went through shit together. Both good and bad. And this is the final sprint. It's the last war we gonna fight together as a class all 40 of us. Since sec 3 :) And you know that moment of just wishing people around us, was just amazing. I had that feeling in my gut again. But this time it was a touching and 'Shit, I dont wanna graduate this year!!!!! :(' feeling. I realized, I was gonna missed everyone. Now, WHAT WOULD I DO WITHOUT MY GUTTER SLUTS AND BUBBLE BUTTS? :(((( They're the ones who all made me who I am today. A Rockstar. Coral's Rockstar. Because of them, I'm a step closer to my dream. I'm so blessed to have them all :') You have no idea.

So then maths we kinda just did our stuff. And hung out talked and all. More catching up :) Then it was recess. Met my group and went down to the canteen. And so we hung out talked laughed talked bout our holidays. And after recess, we went up. And well shit happened but it was kinda good. Got back to class it was Chem and more talk bout you know who :) And then chilled studied. Then it was physics and SS. SS was kinda cool. Jel and I were just looking through the tb and I saw someone in the book who looked familiar. And then she turned back and asked if I knew who it was. AND IT WAS MY UNCLE KENNY! One of my Dad's bestfriends! COOL RIGHT. And I read that part about him. All I knew was that my Uncle Kenny's kinda like local famous. He owns this huge fish farm, used to have a golden retreiver with 3 legs. And wanted to marry a singer but she married off to someone else and so now he's alone. BUT WHO CARES?! He's in MY FREAKING SS TEXTBOOK!

And it was Geog, went to class with the people :) And there was this bee when we were walking. And Jel and KRISH FREAKED OUT. I know hahahahahaha IT'S A BEE CRISIS. I mean KRISH! Hahahaha OMG IT WAS HELLA FUNNY. And Jel was hiding behind Jojo and Krish hid behind Jel HAHAHAHAHA. Picture it?! Yeah and walking down the stairs, Krish was just like: Rachel, I'm so scared of bees and spiders. And he explained how bees love chasing him. At least once a week, they come flying into his house chasing after him, even when he hid at the chair. Cool story bro XD And so Geog we went through stuff. Somehow I had that' Imma miss everyone again :(' feeling. DAMN MAN I SERIOUSLY HAVE TO STOP HAVING THESE GUT FEELINGS. I mean Imma get so sick one day and just puke whatever there's left in me. Im not even kidding.

So I went home with Rika, Amelia and Jessica. They're Rika's friends, but mannn they're so cool and fun to be with :)

So to end it off, School's great. Gonna enjoy the rest of the months, and well, not forgetting to study damn hard ( You know, Ash Leon Bil they all constantly tell me to study hard. yeah, they're good bros, you can count on them, anytime, anywhere :) ) So that's it. THIS IS WAR.

2011-06-23T17:11:00.002+08:00

And Then You Feel So Low, You Can't Feel Nothing At All

I tend to crush on guys who are musically inclined. And the crushing starts during rehearsals, hanging out backstage and doing shows. Sucks, I know.

2011-06-22T19:33:00.001+08:00

Rich Ass Kids

Hey Guter Sluts and Bubble Butts! Okay so I spent my afternoon reading Alex Gaskarth's blog. Yeah it's his Tumblr, a personal one. Mannn his English is amazing. Hahaha and he talks about being at the studio in North Hollywood and stuff. Being back home during the weekend, working on the Dirty Work album and stuff. And it got me thinking. They say Hollywood's High School with money. And that's hella true. Cuz first of all, artists, actors, bands, they spend long hours in the studio, working on a production and records. They have lunch and stuff there. They hang out there, meet new people. All in Hollywood. Hollywood isn't just a fancy place with palm tress and pretty lights and stuff. They are where shit happens. Both good and bad. But from what I see in the media, TV and hear from people, it's where the gossip is. Divorce, getting married, break ups. Fans gone mad?

But that isn't what Hollywood is about. That's just what the surface is. But if you go deep in. These artists, they spend most of their time working, FOR THEIR FANS AROUND THE WORLD. Sure they have fun touring, getting stoked for making new music.Interviews, awards, going on stage, concerts, travelling the world. But afterall, people are people. And they get tired. But they work REALLY hard. You have no idea. For example, 30 Seconds To Mars. There was once when after doing a show, Jared went back to the hotel to continue working on his music video for Hurricane. They spent hours doing it. And usually, you just party after a show. Or get some rest or chill and meet people. But he went back to work.

These celebrities aint just rich freaks that most people have bad impression on them. Thinking: Man they're celebrities! They do drugs, alcohol. They're messed up. And well, they are wrong. So wrong. Sure they do drugs and drink. But hey, you dont know what these people go through. You dont know their past and how they ended up in this entertainment industry. Dont judge. Behind the scenes, they work their butts off. To be THIS successful, to be THIS rich, to be THIS famous. They deserve this. And then think again,instead of just dissing the shit out of them, why dont you look at yourself, cuz probably, you're jealous right? I just hate how people have this mindset on these artists. Just because they are successful in a rare way.

And back to Hollywood being High School. It's true. They spend hours in the studio working. We students spend hours in school studying. It's like our second home. School's where you hang out with your homies, where drama happens where you learn new stuff, discover new things and be fascinated. Sure there are fights and miscommunications here and there, problems. Same in Hollywood. But the good thing is, in Hollywood, you get paid. And unfortunately, in school, you don't. Hahahaha.

So what I'm trynna say is that you know, Hollywood and its people are amazing. Probably without it, we wouldnt have music, shows and movies to watch. Along with musicals, plays theatre. We would feel we're alone in this world. When people ask me why I wanna be a Rockstar in future, I tell them: Well, I love music. They say i've got talents, brave and stuff. But truth is, there's a whole story behind why I wanna be a Rockstar and get to Hollywood. A reason why i fell in love with music. Why I love being on stage and doing shows. Why I'm 'brave' to go stage and I dont get stage fright. I'd tell the whole world. But they'd probably wouldn't understand. Maybe only those who's got the same reasons.

Peace out Mothafuggas!

2011-06-07T23:28:00.003+08:00

I Guess That We're moving On

I get your point, we're better friends than lovers. If I had a chance, I'd do it all over. you're caught in my heart, you're caught in my head. And I believed everything that you said. We're at a crossroad, I guess that we're moving on.

2011-06-06T11:00:00.004+08:00

Everything They're Not

You know it's cool when someone is different from everyone else. When they're nice. And you have Remember Whens with them, that you'll never forget. When they care. When you have your own have a reputation, and they're afraid of breaking it, bringing you down. And just because of that, they get scared and nervous. It's so sweet when they send you texts that makes them sweet. They're so cool cuz they have sth in common with you.

But it sucks when they tell you that they like people with certain stuff that makes them special. And you're kinda of the opposite. It sucks when you start thinking about them all the time. It sucks when you get butterflies when you see him. It sucks when you get hopeful ad then not. It sucks when you wanna talk to that someone but are afraid of disturbing them, getting them irritated. It sucks when you keep telling yourself: Nah he's just really cute that's all, I don't like him. But you're fucked when all of the above happens and you realized, you like him.

And shit yes, I think I like you.

2011-06-01T18:14:00.002+08:00

You Got A Big Mouth

Im still wondering how it feels like to be in love. Im still thinking that I'll be forever alone.

2011-05-23T21:17:00.003+08:00

THE AWKWARD MOMENT WHEN ALEX GASKARTH IS JUST PERFECT.

AND NOTHING ELSE MATTERS.

2011-05-21T19:42:00.002+08:00

WAIT!

I AM SO DEPRESSED. WHY MUST THE GUY I LIKE ALWAYS EITHER HAVE OTHER GIRLS LIKING HIM, OR ALREADY HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?! AHHH SHIT.

I should just stick to celebrity crushes. Like Jared Leto :)

SO YTD WAS HELLA AWESOME! THE TALENT TIME WAS HORRIBLE. I mean okay Im not gonna elaborateand say mean shit. But I'm just sooo damnnnn happy that Syabil, Ashraf, Shaik and Syahmi won. THEY WERE AMAZING I SWEAR. I had no idea Syahmi and Shaik could sing that well! SO FREAKING AWESOME! So like during the Talent Time, I just sat front with my homies. Like with Ash Shawn they all, and then in the class beside us was Julie Vanny Nadd Shana Nicole they all, and the class next was my girls, Bella, Cheryl they all. OMG I SWEAR IT WAS SO DAMN FUN. LIKE DURING THE WHOLE THING, WE WERE JUST COMMENTING AND LAUGHING AND HAVING SO MUCH FUN. IT'S CRAZYYYY HAHAHA! You know to be honest, I really dont mind being the only one in class. And all my other bestfriends in the other. Like nowadays I just go round to like everyone? Yeah it's kinda cool and interesting, cuz in sec 1 and 2 and 3 i have my own group with me in the same class. It's like I actually just spend time with any random person and we just talk about everything. Whether it's music, or their own personal life, their dreams and what they plan for the future. Or simple just stories and their experiences. Like their own love stories, camp stories ( my favourite :D ) or ghosts stories HAHAHA. I know it's kinda actually better than just having my own group of homies in class. But I do hang out a lot with Jel Jo Val Ash Leon Bil they all so it's all good :D

You know, funny thing is. people just make me hate them so much sometimes, I just want everyone to die. But ever since I just started to hang with everyone, it's like I got to know how people are like in different ways, kinda know why they act the way they do. And just accept them for who they are. It's interesting though, being and getting to know people. I'm just really curious about stuff you know? :)

So yeah, but I feel so weird now. Like bored? I wanna get back to school soon, and in June I'll be going back quite often so yeah :)))

2011-05-05T19:39:00.003+08:00

I've Been MIA Since Forever

Time to turn the music up. I really love and enjoy listening to the next door neighbor play the piano, with the same tune every single day, especially when I study. But dude seriously, TIME TO CHILLAX BEFORE NEXT WEEK. I've been blasting music from my computer the past two hours. This is the life. I've been so behind my music. I dont even know what's hot right now. BUT THIS IS WHAT I FOUND.

SIMPLE PLAN'S BACK BITCHES. HELLYEAH! Their 4th album, Get Your Heart On, is coming out on 21st June. And yes I'm gonna get it along with 30 Seconds To Mars' THIS.IS.WAR album :D You know since they're my heroes. Simple Plan saved me. Listening to their first ever songs just made me know that I'm not alone and emo. And I'm not the alone one hates the world :) Yeah.

And what pissed me off was today I went on Tumblr and the first post that came up on my dash was that James Durbin sang 30 STM's Closer To The Edge. The judges were just like complimenting and shit. Yeah well, James is one of my fav, but just not today. Honestly, he didnt sing well today. The song doesnt fit him. James is a Rock Diva. He does rock but he's like Adam lambert you know? James's isnt a Jared Leto or 30 STM kind. And he never will be. Jared screams rock. James screams diva. That's how it is. And here's the pissing off part. You know how Jared always says: 'Let Me Hear You Scream!' in the middle of Closer To The Edge? And the Echelon screams? YEAH, WELL JAMES STOLE JARED'S LINE. He did the same fucking thing. Seriously James???? SERIOUSLY???? 'Let Me Hear You Scream!' line WILL FOREVER AND ALWAYS BE JARED'S LINE. AND IT WILL FOREVER AND ALWAYS STAY IN 30 STM. YOU DONT STEAL HIS LINE BITCH. SO WHAT, NEXT TIME YOU GONNA SCREAM: 'JUMP AND TOUCH THE SKY'???? Yes, I love James, but not today.

And what pissed me off ytd was when some new neighbor just moved in and just a few days later, he/she went to the mailbox and put notes saying: Please don't smoke and shit, cuz we keep smelling it and it aint good for health. And there was another pathetic one that said: Please close the window when you fry fish. BITCH, WHY DONT YOU JUST GET THE FUCK OUT OF THIS DAMN NEIGHBOURHOOD?!

See what I mean? The world pisses me off. I should just get the fuck out of here.

2011-05-04T21:32:00.002+08:00

I Just Don't Wanna Miss You Tonight

But I do, I really do. I wonder if you do too. I wish I had never just gave up. I miss the good times. I miss you.

2011-05-01T10:09:00.003+08:00

And I Don't Want The World To See Me

Mom said if I started earlier I would get As. After all I'm in the first class and it means something :)

2011-04-27T23:00:00.003+08:00

Hi,

I'm back. And dying. I know no one reads my blog anymore. And well, no one blogs anymore. They all went to Twitter, Facebook and stuff like that. Blogging a favourite pastime now for everyone. And I'm back here, in the past. I'm left with bio E-learning to do. I need to finish it today no matter what. Or else, when I get back to school tomorrow, people will laugh at me. Yes, society is cruel.

I'm dying from this pressure. I guess I'm not ready for anything. I've got a show to do on Saturday at Fullerton Hotel. Where Simple Plan went before a long time ago for an award show. And I have to do a good show. Because it's a hotel, a wedding, and 400 people. And exams start next Tues. Oh man the pressure's on. The Lord is testing me.

And school ain't that good anymore. I used to love school. I used to be in control, full of confidence. I wonder what happen. Things get so boring. But then you take it for granted. And you have friends coming, going. And some who dont treat you right. Or maybe just one. Some who have such weird times. One time their all high and happy, the next their all moody. And the cycle repeats. You don't know what to expect. You get insecure. You think everyone hates you. And all you wanna do is go home. Cuz it's the only place you're safe, away from hell.

And yeah that's it. That's life.

2011-02-28T18:46:00.002+08:00

'You Mean Hannah As In Montana?' 'Yeah Weird As In Do!'

Okay it's like when I'm doing a show on stage or just on stage, I see everyone. EVERYONE. Then I see everything people do on the floor. EVERYTHING. Like when they scream my name, I smile at that person and mouthed a 'Thank You!' And those moments when it's just so weird. Suddenly I see someone on the floor taking a picture, I would look at the camera and smile while I continue singing. But the best part, being on stage makes me free. People screaming your name. Loving your voice. Singing and doing what I love the most. Letting people know how you feel through songs. And all the other reasons why I wanna be a famous Rockstar.

2011-02-13T23:10:00.002+08:00

So This Is Me Swallowing My Pride

It's getting kinda serious now. If I'm gonna continue writing songs, it'd be all sad and depressing and emotional. But that's just how I feel. Then all the songs are gonna be so personal. Nobody knows bout my past. Probably only my family but not my bestfriends. No one knows how I feel and what I go through and my point of view of everything. Know life. It's like the only way to get over sth terrible is to write songs. Sometimes, singing songs or listening to songs aint even enough to make me fine. Cuz when I sing, I might just cry and die. And when I write songs I stay more focus. I write out everything, and how I feel at that time. When I'm more calm, then I get serious fixing up the song and completing it.

I don't know how long I can keep doing this and going through life like this. I dont even wanna be saved. I just want to die. But then again, I cant. Cuz I wont even become a Rockstar then. You know this ambition keeps me going on. Music keeps me going on. Without it, I might be dead by now.

2010-12-20T23:09:00.003+08:00

Dancing In The Alley With The Street Rat Night Life

You know what it kinda sucks. My life. Yeah. I'm stuck in the middle of wanting to focus on music, becoming famous, getting to Hollywood, finding my own band, together with stupid school homework, stressing on 'shit it's 8pm, gotta do homework or I'll get scolding' And schools starts in 2 effing weeks. I'm not ready. I'm not effing ready for senior year. Honestly, I'm only looking forward to prom and going to L.A. Not graduation not effing O's. Don't even go there.

Yo, I'm serious, I don't wanna live this same life anymore. Like know how I always say it's a 50/50 shit. Half on the dream half on the grades. But it doesnt seem to be working out anymore. For me. I feel like dying. Seriously. But ohwhatthefuckwhatever.

Bella's birthday is tmrw! :D Jared Leto's birthday's coming! On the 26th :P And this is the awkward moment when I say I'm in love with Jared Leto, James Maslow and Alex Gaskarth all at the same time. And I'm loving it. I don't want school to start. I wanna go learn skateboarding. I wanna go L.A. now. OH DAMN I JUST NEEDA GO TO A CONCERT TO FEEL ALIVE.

2010-12-10T22:51:00.003+08:00

Damned If I Do Ya, Damned If I Don't

Okay I can't do my homework tonight already cuz my mood's ruined. Well, that's me. Once my mood's ruined, I can't do anything smart. Just sit here and stare into inspiration.

But I'll try doing it cuz you know I wanna have three weeks off doing nothing before school start. SENIOR YEAR. Honestly, I'm just looking forward to prom, not looking forward to graduation. I Love High School. But O' Levels... Don't even wanna think bout that shit. So yeah, I'm so damn bored and I'm dying :(

I aint gonna go for guitar tmrw cuz Imma stay home chill and keep think bout having 3 weeks doing nothing so I'll be motivated to do my homework :D

2010-12-07T23:11:00.004+08:00

You'll Never Bring Me Down

Okay, going over to Saf's tmrw :) I swear I miss Rika and Saf like HELL. And Saf was just telling me that her Mom said I shld go over more often :P AWWWWW :') And well, Bella kinda left for Japan without sending all of us a goodbye text :( And I planned to send her a really long one before she left, but I wasn't sure when she left so...... Yeah I didn't. Jel left ytd. We were suppose to have a jam and chill out session. And we means Jel, El, Huiyi, Ash, Sya, LeonC, Val, Jo, JS, LeonL. But many of them couldn't make it. And Jel couldn't make it in the end as well. So I was so damn sad I couldnt see her. Cuz she ain't coming back til' next year! BUT GUESS WHAT?! I was replying Jel's text when suddenly, someone came up to me and IT WAS JEL!!! :D:D:D So we talked on the way cuz she had to meet up with her friends for the farewell party :) And then she went the other way and I went the other way and we hugged :) So sad :(

So yeah, I can't stop Tumblr-ing and I NEED TO DO HW.

P.S: OMG WHY THE EFF ARE YOU SO EFFING DUMB. I HOPE YOU GET THAT FINAL MSG ON THURS. OR EVEN BETTER, DON'T. CUZ IMMA SLOWLY TORTURE YOU WITH WHAT YOU TORTURED ME THE PAST EFFING MONTHS SINCE LAST YEAR. GET A TASTE OF YOUR OWN MEDICINE, BITCH. YOU DESERVED IT. AFTER HIGH SCHOOL, I DON'T WISH TO SEE YOU EFFING FACE EVER AGAIN.

2010-12-06T22:33:00.004+08:00

Oh Right, I Forgot, You Don't Give A Shit

Get a call on a random afternoon
I pick it up and I see that it's you
Like my heart, you were breaking the news
You say, it's over, it's over, it's over

Heading out cuz I'm outta my mind
All my friends are gonna see me tonight
Staying here, til' the sun starts to rise
And I'm, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna

Dance hard, laugh hard
Turn the music up now
Party like a Rockstar
Can I get a what now?
I swear I'll do
Anything that I have to
Til' I forget about you

Jump up, fall down
Gotta play it loud now
Dont care, my head's
Spinning all around now
I swear I'll do
Anything that I have to
Til' I forget about you

Til' I forget about you

I bet you thought I'd be here on my own
Waiting for you to knock on my door
Since you left, I don't wait by the phone
I'm moving, I'm moving, I'm moving

I found a place where I can lose myself
And just leave your memory on the shelf
See I'm fine, no I don't need nobody else
Cuz I'm, I'm goin', I'm goin', I'm goin'

Dance hard, laugh hard
Turn the music up now
Party like a Rockstar
Can I get a what now?
I swear I'll do
Anything that I have to
Til' I forget about you

Jump up, fall down
Gotta play it hard now
Don't care, my head's
Spinning all around now
I swear I'll do
Anything that I have to
Til' I forget about you

Spending money like you don't mean a thing
I'm going crazy now, don't even think
Losing my mind, that's all I can do
Til' I forget about you

Dance hard, laugh hard
Turn the music up now
Party like a Rockstar
Can I get a what now?
I swear I'll do
Anything that I have to
Til' I forget about you

Jump up, fall down
Gotta play it loud now
Don't care, my head's
Spinning all around now
I swear I'll do
Anything that I have to
Til' I forget about you

Til' I forget about you
Til' I forget about you
I WILL FORGET ABOUT YOU.

2010-12-01T18:42:00.002+08:00

Make Me Sorry I Ever Counted On You

Why do I even bother being friends with you anymore, all you do is hurt me. I shouldn't let myself do this anymore. You meant a lot to me at one point but I guess, it doesn't mean shit to you.

2010-11-29T14:30:00.003+08:00

You Know The Words Once Upon A Time

She sat in the circle with her friends, with the teacher in the middle. It started with the first person. And then it went on round the circle. It came to her turn, and the teacher asked: 'What have you learned from it?' And everyone kept silent, waiting for the answer. She thought for a while and said: ' Well, if you ask me, the world is really messed up now and it's too late to change anything. But after watching it, I feel that there's still hope for everyone. And remember that poem? Something about each and every one of us plays a verse in this life? Yeah well, I think it just means that all of us we make up our own lives. How we want our lives to be, we just do it. You know? We are in control of our own lives and nobody can ever stop us. No one at all. Like I remember someone telling me: Believe in yourself. Follow your dreams. Don't let anyone stop you.'

2010-11-25T00:13:00.004+08:00

Flash Forward

Hayley's really lucky to have a band of brothers there for her and they're like her bestfriends, bros, music partners, BAND. I dream to have the same thing :)

Anyway, I've been feeling kinda weird lately. That feeling's coming back and well, she's taking the place again. It's annoying. Or maybe it's just me. I dont know, whatever/

Tmrw's the camp I'll be meeting the Saf and Rika tmrw before going and I'll be meeting Ash to pass him the hw and then it'll be 4 hours of drama and then we have lunch and then we play games and then we do more acting and then we have dinner and then it's committee selection and then it's go home. Well, I'll have fun, and hopefully it takes my mind of the shit.

The class outing's on 9 Dec and Leon was thinking that Sya, Ash, himself and me shld do a song ( Hahaha me and my band of brothers :P JKJK) for Mr Sufyan. And we're thinking of mixing The Only Exception with sth else. And Im suppose to find the sth else, butI have no mood for it.

I miss my boys... I miss my girls... I wanna die :(

2010-11-15T22:56:00.002+08:00

I Wanna Run, But Only Far Enough To Make You Miss Me

Waddup yall, Im Rach and Im dying :D Hahaha you know what guys? I've been talking about Jared Leto and 30 Seconds To Mars and all the Hollywood stuff so much that I havent been talking bout my life lately. This year's been a blessing, I swear and soon, I'll be writing the list of blessings I've got this year, 2010. You know, before it ends.

Today's the open house for primary school kids. So we had to act again and again like crazy but it was fun and tiring. After open house we had drama practice for 1 and a hlaf hours. But guess what?! The 19 of us (Drama clubbers) ate 6 huge boxes of pizza and we finished it fast. Hell yeah! It was fun just chilling out talking and stuff :) Miss those days :D Im just happy SYF's next year and thats when we all work our asses off and thats when all of us become really tight :D But it's sad that next yea will be senior year and that means after SYF, it's step down :'(

We havent got our scripts for SYF yet, but Ms Amy gave us a gist about it. And she said only 7 main people are needed to be in the play. But she'll be getting all the seniors involved since it's our last time. Awww the thought of stepping down kills :'( I have to join drama when I get to college :D

Okay so like it's the holidays now. Imma catch a movie with the boys on Wed :D Megamind :D I wanna watch The Social Network but Shawn said it was NC16 and when I said I wanted to watch that owl movie thing, Shanw said Sam and the other guys thought it was lame... So oh well. But I definitely have to catch Easy A and HP with ma girls :D Amira and I were planning to go bowling next week and calling the girls along :D Damn I cant wait. and I cant wait for class outing either :D Gonna be hell fun! :D

And so to end this post for today, this is for yall :D peace!

Waiting for the End (Official HD)

2010-11-10T18:49:00.003+08:00

Trade This Life For Something New, Holding On To What I Haven't Got

2010-11-10T18:25:00.004+08:00

Victims Of Ourselves

30 SECONDS TO MARS WON BEST ROCK DURING THE EUROPE MUSIC AWARDS. HELLL YEAHHHH!!! And I really thought the Prince Of Darkness (Ozzy Osbourne) would win. I WAS DYING. When I knew Katy Perry won Best Video and Tokio Hotel won Best World Stage performance. I really really really though Ozzy was gonna win, TURNS OUT 30 SECONDS TO MARS WON! :D:D:D:D:D

Well, what can I say? They're awesome :D 30 SECONDS TO MARS WAS BORN TO ROCK AND WIN.

2010-11-07T16:03:00.004+08:00

Say What

AND IM LIKE WHOA. JARED. LETO.

Tmrw's the EMAs and 30 Seconds To Mars is performing :D Along with Miley Cyrus :D And Katy Perry :D Paramore :D AND SO MANY MORE!!! I CANT WAIT ANYMORE!! :D:D:D Btw, Vietnam's awesome :D I'll try to write the stuff down if I rmb :) The performance over at the school was freaking fun :D Students were all so damn friendly :D I'll never forget :D

2010-10-25T23:15:00.002+08:00

What Happened To School

Well, things change right? And so do people? I just wanna like forget everything and get to a rock concert. Why hasnt AAR come yet? And Simple Plan? Im dying to see Jared Leto and the whole of 30STM. I MISS THE OLD TIMES. School was innocent. Now, it's just another screwed up story.

Imma be strong and listen to 30STM. Life's like this. It's okay they're joking. Dont be a sensitive bitch. Life's insecure now and all you can now is just hold on and survive. It's a living hell, where you trust no one but yourself. K, nvm bout it, focus on Music. Focus on Grades. Focus on the Rockstar dream. Focus on becoming rich, famous and successful. All these will end soon. It's okay it's alright. I Can Do This.

Now just focus on Vietnam's performance. Rocking the school, and having a whole week of Sleepover with Amira, Saf and Bella :) It's okay, we'll leave this town soon :) High school will end, and then it'll just be life. Everyone goes their separate ways and that's it. Yeah I'll be fine.

See y'all tmrw, I'll be heading down to Yamaha :)

2010-10-20T20:57:00.001+08:00

Closer To The Edge

JARED LETO, YOU'RE AMAZING. IF YOU WERE MUCH YOUNGER, I'D MARRY YOU/

2010-10-19T20:58:00.002+08:00

Hold Ma Shit

These few days have been awesome. Got back all my results but I forgot some. So I'll just wait til I get back my report card and type everything down here yeah :) But well it's bad... Mama and I had a long talk. SHE DIDNT SCOLD ME. Well, that makes me feel even worse. She kept motivating me. But um, after much fighting with the mind, I decided to just give up on getting back my position. Im just gonna do this shit on my own. Now the main focus is O Levels. But it's so funny mama was giving me life examples to motivate me. And I was thinking damn I dont wanna die a loser.

Me: I dont wanna die a loser you know, like how I always say dreams are damn important to me. And I must be rich, successful and famous? Yeah this is super important to me. You know like, without this dreams and becoming rich, famous and successful, this life isnt worth living, I dont know why Im even living. Like how you say Me Matt and Becca are your life? Yeah if there isnt us, you live this life for nothing.

Mom: Yeah, true hahaha

Me: Yeah so I don't mind dying alone. I just don't wanna die a loser. To me, a loser is when I dont become rich famous and successful

So you see, it's hard and I feel like dying. Im only holding on so I wont be a loser. Im starting studying on Friday, after this Thurs' performance. Yeah Mr Lim threw another performance to me on the last day of exams. I was like reading my notes for the last time before the Chem exam and cher came and ask if I could perform for the farewell thing. Cuz our Principal's leaving the school. So yeah hahahahaha

Okay Imma peace out now,

P.S: The guy living next door to me has grown so tall now and he's hot, a year older than me and best part, HE FREAKING SKATEBOARDS!! I love skater boys :P

P.P.S: Im dying to learn skateboarding too

2010-10-12T14:25:00.002+08:00

I'm Holding On But Letting Go

" The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A death. What's that? A bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you're too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. You work forty years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months floating and you finish off as an orgasm. " - George Carlin

2010-10-10T19:37:00.003+08:00

Just One More Day, Would You?

ONE MORE WEEK OF FUCKING EXAMS!

THERE'S SO MUCH I WANNA DO AFTER THIS EXAM SHIT. YOU KNOW, HOMIES GOING OUT HANGING OUT PARTYING BOWLING MOVIES SLEEPOVER TRASHING PLACES. THE USUAL THING XD

But this time I wanna do something cooler. Like skateboarding. Once when I was going home with Amira Amirah Saf Bella, Im like: I wanna skateboard during holidays. And Amirah was like: Eh I also want! And Saf was like: Hey meeee toooo!! Okay so skateboarding on my list. Well many stuff happen in school. I so have to up-date you guys with my life stories soon.

I've got HELL LOT to say/

Okay so I've kinda got my plan for this Oct and first week of Nov. After this weeks of exams, on Friday, Imma go out with the homies Havent plan exactly where we're going though. Then one week of going through exam papers. And then another week of studying ( step up asshole stuff that we didnt needa do in sec 1 and 2 ) then it'll be 30 Oct, Grandpa's birthday and then end of school for this year! Next day, 31st will be Halloween, yupp Im celebrating it but havent plan what we're gonna do. Then 1st Nov I'll be going to Vietnam for 5 days. BEST PART: Bella and Saf and I are gonna be roomies. My fav people are gonna go Jel Jojo and Amira :D I CANT FUCKING WAIT.

AND ANOTHER BEST PART. I'M GONNA PERFORM IN VIETNAM IN A SCHOOL THAT WE'RE GONNA VISIT. SO FUCKING AWESOME RIGHT!!! IT'S LIKE A CONCERT TOUR HAHAHAHA THOUGH IT'S JUST ONE PLACE. IM SO STOKED IT'S CRAZY/ FOR ONCE IM NOT DOING A SHOW IN SCHOOL OR SINGAPORE. BUT IN VIETNAM. I SWEAR THIS IS GONNA BE A LIFE EXPERIENCE I'LL NEVER FORGET. I HOPE THE SCHOOL IS HUGE LIKE 2000 PEOPLE?? YEAH I WANT THAT IT'LL BE COOL XD

Lately I've been really crazy bout 30 Seconds To Mars. And in love with JARED LETO. Yeah I wish I could marry him but he's 38.

Okay Imma peace out now gotta go back to bio. Once this week is over Imma redo my blog :P

2010-09-24T23:20:00.002+08:00

You Don't Have To Be Afraid To Put Your Dream In Action

School's great just for the last part. We had chem first and so Mr Sufyan came to teach went through our test. And then in the middle through the lesson, I kinda looked out of the classroom and I saw___ and I was like 'gasp!' and then Ian saw too and he was like: Eh Rachel! Then after ____ walked past the classroom, Sam was like oh happy birthday Rachel! And then Leon C was like: Huh?! Today's Rachel's birthday?! Jel: No lah it's ____ today! And then the whole class was like: OHHHHHHHH!!!! Hahaha okay and I turned really red... So much for that huh! Hahaha but coolios it's fun to have the homies around :D

Then it was bio. Val, Ash, Shawn, Jia En, Anas, Ian were all sitting near so every once in a while during copying corrections for bio, we would talk. Bout skateboard, guitar and jokes from Ryan and all, you know, the usual fun routine :D Then it was recess, went down to hang out with Saf, Shao Qi, Bella, Amira, Cheryl, Renee. And so studied for freaking maths. Grape drink spilled on Shao Qi's and my skirt we went to clear up and stuff. And then stuff happened. And then recess was done. And just ytd Mr Osman asked me and Saf if we made up our minds to join debate. Yeah me, debate, me. Long story hahahahaha! But I told him needed to think more. Cuz I cant possibly cope with drama SYF, debate and O's could I? Plus there's gonna be an end-year jam competition. And cool thing is Vanessa's band, Roy and Rey, Wai Hong's band might probably go for it. And I was thinking I should go too. Vanessa kinda told me bout it in school. You know we are like the school's Rockstars :D So yeah I'll see, now it's just to focus on end years and thats it.

Then it's maths. I guess all of us died when doing the paper. I know I did. After that went to minimart with Jel. And stuff happened in the canteen. I cant say it here though. Not safe hahaha! Then went for geog, presented with Sam. Ohohoh! before geog I was like: Jel, Im scared the presentation will be screwed! I mean Omar and Ryan's powerpoint have 21 slides! And mine's only like 11 slides. Jel: It's okay it's better what! Me: I dont know Im scared!! Jel: You should have just wrote a song! We will remember better you know ( Yeah I wrote a song for SS presentation the other time. And turns out the class loved it! I was damn surprised. They started asking me to write songs for Teachers Day and all :D) So yeah, but I dont actually think we could write a song. So presented and left for tuition. Said bye to the class homies and the joker Ryan was like: Eh Eh Rachel! Where you going ah? Me: Tuition ah! Ryan: Oh then cher cher I also got tuition!! Hahahaha OMG school's awesome huh when you've got awesome homies :D

So yeah I guess that's all for today. Im really tired. English and Chinese paper 1's on Monday. IMMA GO ROCK THIS SHIT YO! Looking forward to last day of exams :D

P.S: I can't get over you, but I FREAKING HAVE TO.

2010-09-12T19:53:00.001+08:00

I Just Wanna Be Rich And Famous

Weird.

School starts tmrw. And so the humdrum begins.

2010-09-10T20:55:00.002+08:00

You Make Me Confuse Dude

Seems like Imma be emo when I get back to school on Monday... No it's not that I didnt finish my homework, and no it's not cuz I didnt study for any test. Just yesterday, I found out bout the stuff. And the thing was I was texting Ash that time and were talking bout _____. And then we were texting good stuff and Im all happy okay. And then I found out, and I texted Ash again. And then Ash immediately text me super long texts just to cheer me up and give me all the motivation. It's crazy, ASHWIN IS SUCH A FREAKING AWESOME FRIEND. I swear, another listening ear, another advice giver. He's just like my new best friend :)

And then I went online and then Ian ask me why I never went bowling and dinner with Krish Zong Han Sam and Yu Hang. I said I needed to do homework. And like Ian didnt go cuz of his parents. It's amazing how he and Ryan are partners in crime in school and at home he has strict parents hahaha! So then I told Ian too and he was like awwww and he said sth that totally cracked me up :) For that moment I forgot bout it. And then I showed Ian how she looked like and Ian said she looked okay okay. I thought she was freaking pretty though... But whatever...

Before all this, Bella called. Turns out she knew bout it too. And Im like: SHE'S SO FREAKING PRETTY! Bella: EWWW NO!! Oh I thought she was pretty again.... So like Bella and I talked on the phone. She had stuff on too. And then Saf came on at 12 am plus. And I IMed her. And she knew bout it too. And I said: SHE'S SO FREAKING PRETTY RIGHT!! Saf: EWWWW NOOOO!! Hahahaha okay there must be something wrong with me then.

Damn... it sucks you know, knowing that someone you like is suddenly with someone else. LIKE WTF. Know I guess this love stuff is never gonna work out for me. So I should just stick to becoming rich and famous. And you know chase the rockstar dream :D No Im still not happy. I hope Monday would be good... Who knows, would be worse...

Imma go text Sam bout the thing now. I guess he doesnt know. And yes, I will make it up to Zong Han and Krish for their birthday party. Promise I will. After end years :)

2010-09-06T00:08:00.003+08:00

Like He Doesn't Even Care

Hey guys it's been a freaking long time. I've got sooo many of my life stories to share. But you know right now Im preparing for war (exams). School's been a blast but not as fun as last year I gotta admit. Hahaha but the homies ae still as awesome as ever :D I was thinking bout this. I hang out with such annoying people, people who dont give a shit bout getting into trouble, people who start dancing, singing, rapping randomly on the streets on the way home, people who get paranoid or emo all of a sudden people who go crazy over, well everything, people who are smart asses or just the dumb-est ones. But when I think again, I wonder how the hell am I ever gonna live without them. EVER. My homies are the best I swear :)

So I did many performances this year. The one at the orphanage, Coral's Got Talent, National Day and recently, Teachers Day. And I had loads of fun hanging out with the usual people like Roy and Rey, Zhafri, Vanessa, Izzat, MingXuan. And a whole lot of new ones like Felicia, Sigrid, Cheryl, Zack, Nabeel, Ayee, Joyce, Maneesha, Angel, Lavenia, the lower sec people and more. They're cool. I made a lot of new friends and to those that I've been working with and performing with and staging the show with many times, I've just got closer to them :D No shit, it's freaking awesome :) I've got loads of stories to share for this part.

And back to classroom and grades business. I've got new seat buddies :D I got to sit with Renee in class :) With Diyanah in the front, Ash at the side of me, Ryan at the back. Jia En, Ian, Shawn, Syabil all sitting near me. They're awesome. That's all I can say :D You can count on them anytime, anyday :D And for the grades, everyone just got back our progress report last Friday. So here it is: Eng-B3, Chi-C6, A maths and E maths-A2, Bio and Phy and Chem and Humanities-B3. So like all's cool, well except for Chinese.... HAHA... Im gonna pull all to an A and Chinese, at least a B for once... :)

For my best friends part. Saf Renee Bella and I are still the awesome foursome :) Sam Krish Zong Han are still with me. Jel Ryan Shawn Jun Xian, Im treating them as my bestfriends :D It's beena very long time since we all went out together.... But it's alright. WE'LL WAIT FOR HALLOWEEN. That's when we'll all have a reunion :D A whole bunch of us :D Cant wait :D

So yeah I guess that's all. This week's the one week break. But I've gotta get back to school for Monday and Tuesday for extra lessons with the homies. And what's more, buttload of homework... So yeah Imma just go off now. Will be watching Step Up tmrw :) Ciao yall!

2010-07-09T22:39:00.004+08:00

Who Says I Can't Skateboard In My Pyjamas?

So it's been pretty busy these few days, after Youth Day, things in school changed a lot. Though the stuff that never changed was definitely the school homies and the homework. I swear I'm so freaking tired. But it's cool :) I mean when you've got the homies around, everything's fine :D I'm starting to get use to 3/7 and like I kinda love the people in it :) No Shit. Probably it's cuz after Talent Time, things get better, they know me more :) Ryan and Ian are hilarious. And Ryan never stops borrowing ma homework and like he and the others crack me up like hell! I swear, it's like having a whole lot of Alvins in class hahaha!

And we shifted down to classroom 4/8. Cuz one of them dislocated the leg so all of us gotta move down. Damn, I hope that aint our permanent classroom. It's like our new classroom's all the way at first floor and we are separated from the other sec 3s and my homies. And that sucks. Hahahah! And I feel Im closer to 3/7 now :) All I know is I've got a good feeling bout this and for sure, at the end of this year, I'll be treating 3/7 as ma 2nd family, I just know it :)

So this week's freaking tiring. With homework, hanging out with homies and stuff. Drama's awesome. The first session of drama after Youth Day WAS FUCKING AWESOME. Ya see, we're gonna do a mime for Teachers' Day. It'll maybe last around 7 mins. And we've got separated into 4 grps but Hana's grp and Saf's grp (I'm with Saf), we joined together. We decided to do a mime bout P.E in school. And Saf was like directing everything. Omg I swear, Saf and Rika are so gonna be sooo damn successful in future. I could picture Saf being a director in future and Rika a model. Yeah, no kidding. And then Saf made me and Hana the dumb ones. Throughout the whole drama session, we were planning how the mime should be like. I got chosen to act as the dumb one, THE WHOLE TIME. DAMN FUN I SWEAR HAHAHAH!

But the issue was that Ms Amy was talking to us, next year me and the other seniors will be graduating. And at the same time our O Levels and drama SYF. Ms Amy was like talking bout it and she looked at me saying: Rachel would you wanna commit yourself to your studies or you wanna commit yourslef to SYF or studies at the same time. I was like: SYF!!! And then Ms Amy was like: But your parents might not like it and she told the others too. And I was like thinking: Are you kidding me? You're talking bout MY parents yo. Rach's parents? They let me do what I want, so long as they know what I'm doing, thr right thing of course. If they dont allow, I think they probably forbid me to play guitar and focus 100 % on studies. Like what bullshit, my parents aint like that. They let me chase ma dream. So yeah Im gonna do SYF. I've got the best of both worlds man :D

The other issue is that the skit is on Teachers Day but at the same time I'm definitely gonna audition for the Teachers Day concert. No doubt bout it. So yeah, things may be a lil rushy at backstage.

11 July:

And I FREAKING WATCH 30 SECONDS TO MARS LIVE CONCERT ON MTV WORLDSTAGE/ FUCKYEAH AWESOME. I SWEAR. The whole open air, the fans, the crowd. The music blasting on the amp, the sunset as the band played, the screaming and cheering, people crowd surfing at every random spot, Jared jumping into the crowd and crowd surfing. OMG I SWEAR SOOO DAMN AWESOME. ITS A MUST TO WATCH IT AGAIN. PROMISE. DAMN, I LOVE MTV WEEKENDS!

And since now's the time, HAPPY BIRTHDAY JELEEN!! YOUR 15! :D Damn, we're gonna stick together for the next two years until graduating :D I swear, since last year we've benn seat buddies and now, best friends :D Ya know, even though you keep saying you're a bitch and all, seriously, I dont find you one at all. Ya know I still love you no matter what, whether really a bitch. Cuz I know deep down inside, you're always there for me. I swear, no shit. You're freaking awesome. So have an awesome day Jellybeans :D May all your dreams come true :D I LOVE YOU!! :D:D:D P.S: I'll play your all-time fav song (Fifteen-TSwift) for you on Monday :D

Okay guys that's bout it for now :D I'll blog more when I've got the time :D

2010-06-18T13:35:00.002+08:00

Why Is Everything So Hard?

So like now I'm freaking obsessed with Jaden Smith ever since I watched Karate Kid. I swear that freaking movie is so damn motivating. I gotta get the DVD and like before end years, I should watch it. Hahaha!

Ya know, this year has been kinda well, bad. Yeah, and difficult and all. Being in first class, you have to be good in every shit you've got. People are gettin kinda mean and nasty like bullshit. So like yeah. It's not my thang. My grades are fucked up I admit. Like yeah from level position 21 to 90. I know WTF. And Im like so emo most of the time. Im not that close to Sam that much anymore I guess. I dont know. But after watching Karate Kid it just makes me feel so much better. I dont know, one thang's for sure, watching this kind of kung fu movies or movies showing some goofy kid being a loser but finally fitting in with the crowd, or just some ordinary person chasing after his/her dream, just motivates me a lot.

And one more thing, I needa work hard on socializing. Like yeah and kinda probably stop hanging out with _____ for a while. Cuz I swear he always says negative stuff and being the sensitive bitch, it's so hard to stand up again. Whatever it is, I dont really treat _____ as a best friend no more. I guess it's time to move on. I mean seriously why do I need _____? Imma rockstar Im popular than _____ is. Maybe _____'s just using me just so he can be more likeable? How the fuck would I know right? I dont care bout that shit anymore.

When school starts Im working ma ass off to get my position back. Nobody takes Rach's spotlight, EVEN IN GRADES. And we're changing places. I can sit anywhere, I dont mind. But I just dont wanna sit with quiet people or smelly or mean ppl. That's all hahaha. Oh and and I dont wanna sit too back. And btw, Star Struck's showing this Sunday. IT'S A MUST WATCH FOR ME. Cuz Hollywood baby!

Okay so like I have stories I havent told yet. But I'll promise to tell yall. But whatever it is, I probably cant even use the computer. Homework. Hahah ma life's a 50/50. But like yeah I promise myself, to get back my position, cuz aint NO ONE REPLACES ME. If I can win Coral's Got Talent, I can get back my position.

And btw, I have this new chinese tuition. The teacher is nice and all but at the same time strict like hell. I called her just now to cancel my tuition okay, and like she said why dont you put it to tomorrow and i was like I cant afternoon I got guitar and night Imma go over to Granny's. And she just would let it go. She kinda "warned" me not to cancel tuition sessions again. HOLY. And she said, didnt you want to like work hard and get A1? HOLY. I mean like I actually had one session this week already Im just gonna go two times each week during the holidays. And last session Mom was like in May get ur chinese to be A 2 and Mom kept wanting an A2 and that teacher was like: Why A2? A1! HOLY... Even ma Mom aint that strict. I hate strict people. Firstly they scare the shit outta me and secondly, they dont have a life. No offence, but this teacher has the older generation kinda thinking way. Yeah like okay fine fine, I'll go to tuition tomorrow after guitar. Whatever.. And okay so this was my excuse: I just had my performance ytd at the orphanage and I needa rush finish ma school homework and I just had my maths tuition in the morning. And she was like: Why needa rush, you go play is it then never do homework? But she said it nicely. And in my mind, I was like WTF. And the worst thing that fucking pissed me off was that she said this: You performed yeaterday? Next time you focus more on homework then do this performing stuff. I WAS LIKE DOUBLE WTF. DOESNT SHE KNOW WHO I AM!? Oh wait apparently she freaking doesnt. Cuz I SWEAR I WILL ALWAYS PUT MY ROCKSTAR DREAM FIRST PRIORITY OKAY. Even grades aint that important to me. All you needa do is just graduate from University and everyone will look up to you. Thats all. That's lame shit. I WILL NEVER GIVE THIS DREAM UP. I swear. But I guess she was concern. guess I gotta focus less on the rockstar stuff for the time being. BUT I WONT GIVE IT UP SHIT ASSES. Besides, next performance will probably be in September during Teacher's Day and maybe a few class performances here and there. I can totally handle it. I mean Im Rachel The Retarded Rockstar afterall :) I swear the teacher still scares me. But one good news is, she's an accountant and like her bodd is an actor. He acted in movies but it's again chinese... But it's okay. Hahah first time I say chinese is okay. After watching Karate Kid, Imkinda dont mind chinese anymore and like China is Beautiful. HAHAHA. Yeah and my cher was like probably at end year, she wanna bring me to the studio or sth? Like a lil Hollywood :D:D:D Im damn excited. I will so score well for my chinese so she'll bring me to that studio. Actually whether score well or not, she'd still bring me :) See she's still nice. But Im still kinda piss. So like maybe I can pick up more acting skills and share it with drama. SYF's next year FYI. Hahaha!

And this is super cute:

The trailer part was just so hilarious. The Pursuit Of Happyness. Ellen Degeneres: He (Will Smith) stays in character pretty much doesn't he?Jaden Smith: Yeah, so I'm like: Um, Dad I'm gonna get an orange juice and he was like: We can't afford orange juice. And I'm like: Alright, well I'm just gonna get one from the fridge. HAHA!

Life will knock us down, but we can choose to get back up. Remember, Always Strong. -Jackie Chan

2010-06-06T18:25:00.003+08:00

Back When We Were Nothing

Awww look at us, we look like such kids :D I really miss those times. Really.

Anyway, I've got like another performance coming up. I know right, Im really getting into this rockstar biz :) It's awesome I swear. But this time, it's better cuz it's a performance for volunteering work like charity or some kind. Like the audience will be orphan kids or just kids with troubled families. So yeah :) And also, I havent wrote my thank you speech for Talent Time. Hahaha this time Im really tired to write it cuz there's so much to say. So I'll do that another time.

Tmrw's the geog make up class. Yeah, I dont look forward to it. I mean who does? But Im looking forward to drama. We're working on the scripts for next year's SYF. So like yeah :)

Okay I've got nothing else to say already. I need chocolate, so ciao!

2010-05-31T20:20:00.002+08:00

I Love My Black + White Friend

I swear Krish Muthukumarasamy is the some awesome shit in the world. Besides the fact he ditched me for Japan on the last day of school which is so darn important to me cuz of my Talent Time. But yeah he's cool :) I gotta admit he's better than Sam. He isnt sooo fucking mean like Sam. Though sometimes he can be well, annoying. And I swear, he has the best comedy videos to show people. Thanks to him, with Saf, I got to know Shane Dawson A.K.A Shanana :) He better get me sth back from Japan. But I gotta apologize to him for always well saying mean stuff to him which I completely dont mean it at all. It's so fun when he's around but he can be well disgusting at times :/ Hahaha.

And it goes down,

HAPPY 15TH BIRTHDAY VANNY!! :D:D:D May all your wishes come true and stay pretty always. P.S: I still love your big shiny eyeballs :D

2010-05-23T12:21:00.005+08:00

Double Trouble

I just want you to be happy I just want you to be happy I just want you to be happy I just want you to be happy I just want you to be happy I just want you to be happy I just want you to be happy I just want you to be happy I just want you to be happy I just want you to be happy I just want you to be happy I just want you to be happy I just want you to be happy I just want you to be happy I just want you to be happy I just want you to be happy I just want you to be happy I just want you to be happy I just want you to be happy I just want you to be happy I just want you to be happy I just want you to be happy I just want you to be happy I just want you to be happy I just want you to be happy I just want you to be happy I just want you to be happy I just want you to be happy I just want you to be happy I just want you to be happy I just want you to be happy I just want you to be happy I just want you to be happy I just want you to be happy I just want you to be happy I just want you to be happy I just want you to be happy I just want you to be happy I just want you to be happy I just want you to be happy I just want you to be happy I just want you to be happy I just want you to be happy I just want you to be happy I just want you to be happy I just want you to be happy I just want you to be happy I just want you to be happy I just want you to be happy I just want you to be happy I just want you to be happy I just want you to be happy I just want you to be happy I just want you to be happy I just want you to be happy I just want you to be happy I just want you to be happy I just want you to be happy I just want you to be happy I just want you to be happy I just want you to be happy I just want you to be happy I just want you to be happy I just want you to be happy I just want you to be happy I just want you to be happy I just want you to be happy I just want you to be happy I just want you to be happy I just want you to be happy I just want you to be happy I just want you to be happy I just want you to be happy I just want you to be happy I just want you to be happy I just want you to be happy I just want you to be happy I just want you to be happy I just want you to be happy I just want you to be happy I just want you to be happy I just want you to be happy I just want you to be happy I just want you to be happy I just want you to be happy I just want you to be happy I just want you to be happy I just want you to be happy I just want you to be happy I just want you to be happy I just want you to be happy I just want you to be happy I just want you to be happy I just want you to be happy I just want you to be happy I just want you to be happy I just want you to be happy I just want you to be happy.

i can go jamming with you and you'll be soo good in guitar when im not. i can go singing with you you you kill everyone with ur horrible voice when everyone else's fall in love with mine. i can go play tennis with you and you surf all the tennis balls and i miss hitting them all. i can get drunk with you drinking loads of coke. i can get to a midnight party with you and nvr go home. i can skip school with you for the whole of next week just to have a competition of who eats ice cream faster. i can go cycling with you and then later i'll be sweating like a dog and you'll be grossed out. i can help you spike up your hair with hell loads of gel. i follow you to get ur peircings, you get it at your ear i'll get mine at my belly button. i can book the studio for the whole day and call the homies to jam along together. i can go crash malls with with. i can go prank ppl and do prank calls with you at midnight. i can stay up late talking shit with you. you said you want to crash the school library after mid years and get banned for the rest of the semester, i'll go crash it with you. i can do so many things for you just to cheer you up cuz i want you to be happy. but the more i try to tell you in the nice way to encourage you you become more emo. dude we've been friends since year 09' and i know exactly how you are. but since the encouraging aint working then fine, you name what you want to do then i'll do it with you. we've been there for each other 24/7. we got into trouble together and loads of scolding and we almost got detention rmb? well more of it was my fault for throwing ur shoe down. and i went to the toilet and cried and you said we'll go detention with the whole class and most of them agreed okay. and whenever all the girls you confessed to rejected you, i would call you up immediately just to talk shit. when i cry you pat my head like ur lil sis. when you cry i call you up and keep repeating: dont dont dont dont dont dont dont dont cryyyyyyyyyyyyy :( and how you would always tell me o listen to idiots when i get so depressed when everyone calls me slow. get this man im not letting you suffer. on monday when the talent time results come out, if im in, you follow me to bugis to get my tattoo as like some celebration even though you lectured me a million times not to get it cuz im just doing harm to myself. but haha me dont care. when im not in, i want you to give me tissue paper and plete my hair like taylor swift since you said you can. i'll give you chocolates on monday and buy you a huge tub of cookies and cream ice cream just to cheer you up. yeah you better finish the whole thing in one shot. on monday after school, we'll go anywhere you want. we could even go search for hot guys and girls and go hook up with that. all in all, what im trynna say is, no matter what i'll always be there for you. we'll always be bestfriends, you always be my big bro and me ur lil sis and im always there to catch you when you fall and alaways there to sing boys like girls songs.

P.S: dont worry my blog is dead only you will be reading it.

Love, ur crazy stupid dumb awesome smart slow bestfriend, Rach.

2010-05-22T16:44:00.002+08:00

My Day To Remember
IM SO WATCHING THE FINALE. It's kinda cool actually. On Wednesday, both Crystal and Lee will be competing for the last time. And Thursday will be the results of who's gonna be the next American Idol.

As for me, on Monday, the results will be out on who's gonna be competing in Coral's Got Talent(Talent Time). And Im really scared. Auditions were just ytd. Somehow it wasnt scary, I didnt feel anything. The judges were Mrs Hudd and Mr Lim. And when I got in the room, it was cool. Cuz the thing is, it wasnt scary at all. What made it better was that it was Mrs Hudd and Mr Lim judging. Mrs Hudd's like my art teacher last year and she'd talk to me and my homies when slacking. she's kinda awesome. And Mr Lim, ahhh i got used to him. So somehow it was all good. Not scary. But the backup music couldnt work, so I just had to rely on my voice and my guitar. And if let's say I do get in Talent Time, Im gonna get a paint on tattoo behind my back. Not the permanent one though... But it's okay.

Man, I hope I'll get in.

2010-05-22T00:32:00.003+08:00

It's Over

No Rach, they dont need you. They only fake a friend in you. They only need you for ur voice for ur guitar to keep their secrets as back up to vent their anger on and to take advantage of. In sec 1 and 2 Im so reluctant to change class and the thought of graudating from high school killed me. Now, in sec 3, Im just so happy Im leaving next year.

I wanna get to Hollywood I swear, I wanna get out of fucking singapore away from all the bullshit people here. Joshua's right, Singapore's too small for me.

2010-05-13T12:07:00.004+08:00

I Never Liked You, Im Not In Love With You

I'm only focusing on one thing now. And that is Talent Time. But after knowing there's somany freaking people going for it and so many with talents than mine, man, I dont think I should and wanna go. Cuz it's a competition and competition isnt my usual thang. I perform and play for people for leisure and cuz I love it. And not for winning. I left exactly two weeks to it. And Mr Lim wants to record Things I'll Say again. He said it's not clear the pronounciation. Like I thought can edit the song and make it sound clear? Man if it's Hollywood, you just gotta sig it and they'll edit for you to perfection. Hollywood, it's the pure dream man...

So like yeah exams been pretty crazy these few days, but Im okay. I think it'll be fine at least. And what else? There's 2/2 gathering tmrw :D But I aint going for it. I alr made plans with the other homies. So like yeah :) And I watched New York Minute ytd. OMG SIMPLE PLAN WAS SO CUTE IN THE OLD DAYS. I swear I mean just look at them now. Sadly, they're reallyyy old. I love then when they had white dyed hair and Pierre with the chicken hair :D Hahaha it was sooo awesome :D I miss the young Simple plan.
All time favs

2010-03-17T19:20:00.002+08:00

A Thousand Miles Just To Get You

Okay I will finish all ma homework on Friday. And Sat and Sun is for me to rest :) Well at least there's drama and guitar on Sat. I love it. Anyway, Placebo should be in town right now. Along with Jason Castro. I know how cool :) I dont really adore Placebo. It's more of Jason Castro. He was on air in 91.3 this evening for the interview. I was listening to the radio the whole while doing my homework and organizing the hanging out tmrw. I invited Krish, Sam, Bel, ZH, Saf, Renee, Jel, El, Huiyi and Rika. But all of them said they cant except Zh and Sam. I know right. They say got tuition, mom dont allow, busy had other plans, classes and homework. I mean seriously man, A ONE WEEK HOLIDAY?? You're kidding me right? I mean what's a holiday without outings and fun and all you do is stay home and study and do your homework like a nerd. I mean dont blame the homies. They have no choice cuz freaking teachers want us to do them. Seriously. In sec 1 and sec 2, I love both school and holidays. No I hate both school and holidays. School cuz I dont have my best budds with me 24/7. And holidays cuz all you do is homework and hardly time for play. Oh wtf, I needa get a life. But good to know, this Sat, Susu and I are gonna jam for a while after drama. Paramore y'all! Hahaha!

Man... I wish, Alv, Siti, Sue, Bel, Saf, El were in ma class. It would be so much better than. Lesser nerds and more fun ppl. No offence but yeah. Siti and Sue would be like sitting next to me listening to the songs I play. Alv would be making up lame jokes. And repeating stuff over and over again making me laugh like hell and we would suggest songs to each other. El would suggest songs too and want me to learn songs. Siti and Sue too! And if Bel and Saf were in ma class, I would feel like I'm the most lucky person cuz I've got ma girls with me. Man... I wish, I just wish, I could go back to those awesome times. Oh and Sayyid will start singing retardedly and he would show me more of those videos with the pro guitarists in the 80s and 90s. And teachers would come into class saying: You guys are the worst normal academic class you know! And Jerron will be like: Huh? But this is express class. And everyone will burst out laughing. MAN, I WANT MY 2/2!! D: D: D:

P.S: I will try to get myself to talk to you. OMG, you just had to show up on Sports Day freaking person.

2010-03-15T22:06:00.055+08:00

And I Won't Cry

I LOVEEE THIS DRESS! Know there was one part where she wore it when she was with the Red Queen? YEAH damn I love it so freaking much! OMG and in tumblr, I was like asking people if they knew where to get this dress, cuz I definitely wanna wear it for prom. Yeah DEFINITELY. And some tumblr person was like: I'm gonna make one for myself cuz I'm gonna wear it for my formal. Something like that. OMG. I want it too!!Maybe I'll show Aunt Clare the photo of the dress and ask her to help me get someone to make me that red dress. And when she comes back from L.A, IT'LL BE A BOMB! Maybe I should do that. Cuz I seriously need one!

Btw, here are the pics for Sports Day and some other extras:

And this one's are from Anas birthday party:

There's definitely more but it's with the others and there's videos too. Of my performance and some super funny retarded stuff :)

Ice Cream Chef on El's Birthday:

Science Frontier with Anas, Krish, Sam, Jel:
Some instructor that I made friends with :) I swear, she's awesome :) We even exchanged numbers and email adds :D I know cool right, just in one day :) Man I miss science frontier was super fun :D 'So, can I have my oreo now?' HAHA.

PTC:

Randoms:

THE END.

2010-03-10T20:50:00.003+08:00

When Everything Is Wrong, We Move Along

ORIANTHI. I LOVE HER. Her guitar skills are so crazy that she was actually one of Micheal Jackson's guitarist. Out of the 12 chosen, she's one of them. But when she sings live, it's horrible. Seriosuly. Yall go hear it. The low part was fine. But when she sang the high part, OMG all out of tune know! BUT STILL, I LOVE YOU ORIANTHI! :D:D:D Someday I'm gonna be just like you :D

Go ahead as you waste your days with thinking
When you fall everyone sins
Another day and you've had your fill of sinking
With the life held in your
Hands are shaking cold
These hands are meant to hold
Speak to me, when all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through
Move along
Move along
So a day when you've lost yourself completely
Could be a night when your life ends
Such a heart that will lead you to deceiving
All the pain held in your
Hands are shaking cold
Your hands are mine to hold
Speak to me, when all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through
Move along(Go on, go on, go on, go on)
When everything is wrong we move along
(Go on, go on, go on, go on)
When everything is wrong, we move along
Along, along, along
When all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through
(Move along)
(Go on, go on, go on, go on)
Right back what is wrong
We move along

Thanks AAR, this song really helped me stand up again :) I'm so looking forward to your concert!

P.S: To concentrate on myself, my dream, my studies, my play, my fun, my life. No one else.

2010-03-08T21:11:00.004+08:00

We're Gonna Rock Shit

Okay so here's ma plan dawgs.

Tmrw: Sports day and outing with the homies.

Friday: CIP with my boys (Krish, ZH, Sam)

Sat: Drama and Guitar.

Sun: Learn T. Swift's songs. Oh yeah, and homework...

Monday: Geog from 10-12. Phy OR drama from 1-3.

Tuesday: Drama 1-3.

Some day in the week: Homies coming over for to hang out :D

P.S: From now I shall be happy and nothing can stop me from being happy. I wont hate. I wont be upset. I'll stay noisy and laugh like how I always used to. I've been thinking too much bout my problems. Bout everyone winning me in grades. Bout everyone being so kiasu. OH LIKE WTH, I should just care bout myself from now on :) Well and of course my best friends and people I love and love me :) I've been thinking so much that I havent been working hard myself. Getting so mentally tired cuz of stuff and most importantly, I havent been learning songs that ma homies requested!! Shit I gotta buck up! Okay from now on, I shall ignore the bitches qand losers. From now on it's just the same old me, my homies, best friends and dream. It's all that matters :D Think positive stay happy. Dont get influnced by emo people. Just be yourself :)

2010-03-05T23:35:00.002+08:00

You're Just Another

Ty, I'm so gonna go to your concert during F1 Rocks, and sneak off backstage to find you after that. I dont give a shit if the security guards get me and sent me off to the police. I Swear, I'll definitely get a picture with you, and your autograph or Im not leaving at all. Just hope you guys wont leave Singapore that early yet :) Ciao!

2010-02-28T19:03:00.003+08:00

I'll Take The Lead

I just watched The House Bunny. DAMN IT WAS HELL AWESOME. So bitchy BUT THE BEST PART WAS. THERE WAS THE SAME GOOFY TYSON RITTER IN IT. Shit, Im so jealous of that girl who kissed him. HE WAS SO FUCKING HOT OKAY. HIS PRETTY EYES. OMG, AAR COME TO FREAKING SINGAPORE. Seriously. And check out Avril's new MV for Alice In Wonderland:

I know right! SO COOL! Even Tokio Hotel and Kerli sang a song in this movie. It was amzing. I swear, Bill's voice is forever the bomb. No doubt about it. And sadly with all this excitement, there's freaking common test tmrw. But its just comprehension so I guess it'll be fine. Right? Yeah right, it'll be fine. Then Tuesday will be Drama. Guess what?! I'M SAF'S ALTER EGO! That means in one of the scenes, no wait make it two scenes Im gonna act with her. One part I'll be walking with her looking at the kingdom and it's suffering with the freaky song. And the other part is where I'll be asking her evil qns and asking her what she wants to do next and stuff like that. It'll be so cool! Like finally acting with MA BEST FRIEND!! :D:D:D

And then the rest of the days will be just the normal same boring old stuff. But I hope I can win a pair of tickets for Paramore's concert this Sunday! :D I was watching their Unplugged concert ytd and OMG Hayley sings live really freaking well. Unlike some other artists, her voice is strong and powerful throughout the short concert. It was awesome :) Then 11 march will be sports day. And it'll be Alice In Wonderland with the homies :D And Oh yeah frozen yogurt :D

I want someone to love me
For who I am
I want someone to need me
Is that so bad?
I want to break all the madness
But it's all I have
I want someone to love me
For who I am
Nothing makes sense, nothing makes sense anymore
Nothing is right, nothing is right when your gone.
I want someone to love me
For who I am
I want someone to need me
Is that so bad?
I want to break all the madness
But it's all I have
I want someone to love me
For who I am
Nothing makes sense, nothing makes sense anymore
Nothing is right, nothing is right when you're gone
I'm losing my breath, I'm losing my right to be wrong
I'm frightened to death, I'm frightened that I won't be strong
I want someone to love me
For who I am
I want someone to need me
Is that so bad?
I wanna break all the madness
But it's all I have
I want someone to love me
For who I am
I'm shaking it off, I'm shaking off all of the pain.
Breaking my heart, breaking my heart once again
I want someone to love me
For who I am
I want someone to need me
Is that so bad
But it's all I have
I want someone to love me
For who I am(Are you Gonna love me, Yeah)(For who I am)
I want someone to love me
For who I am
I want someone to need me
Is that so bad?
I wanna break all the madness
But it's all I have
I want someone to love me
For who I am
Yeah, who I am.

I Loveeee this song :) Well mostly the lyrics and MV :D

P.S: So, can I have my oreos now?? :D I'll talk bout the Science Frontier another time. Ciao!

2010-02-25T19:38:00.002+08:00

It's My Turn Now

SCHOOL'S NEW EVERYTHING:

- Never hand in homework on time, DETENTION.

- Spread rumours around, SEVERE PUNISHMENT.

- Insult the adults(Teachers) in school, CANING AND SUSPENSION.

Im starting to think that school's some kinda army camp or something. It's amazing what people live in. Damn it. And now the principal wants to give everyone more homework and to be more strict in stuff like this.

I wonder what's next. Laugh your heads off in school for something really funny, THEN YOU'LL GET FINED???

P.S: Im gonna go for recording for Things I'll Never Say :D Im in for showtime/talentime too :D

2010-02-23T20:36:00.002+08:00

Tell Me Your Dreams, I'll Tell You Mine

Whenever I say this, Krish starts laughing :) No Krish Im not angry with you. I just find it annoying you keep calling me. I mean I dont mind, but I cant hear you properly on the phone. Like yeah. Call many times you want, but it's gotta be clear over the other line yo :)

I will definitely join 3/9 for A maths class. Cuz it's fun :) There's Bel, Saf, Glen and Alv and all the other fun people. It just feels like home again whenever I go for that class :)

P.S: I'm not hot/pretty/sexy. I just got the talent and voice. Oh, and laughter. A very retarded one.